The Frisky
  • Home
  • News
  • Health
  • Celebs
  • Movies
  • Love
  • Relationships
  • Style
  • Entertainment
  • Parenting
  • Royals
  • Travel
  • About Us
  • Latest
  • Contact Us
The Frisky
  • Home
  • News
  • Health
  • Celebs
  • Movies
  • Love
  • Relationships
  • Style
  • Entertainment
  • Parenting
  • Royals
  • Travel
Relationships

Should You Treat Your Man Like You Do Your Dog?

by Judy McGuire March 1, 2020
by Judy McGuire March 1, 2020
Source: Pinterest

I had no sooner finished dry-heaving over my friend’s tale of the ordeal involved in getting her dog’s anal glands expressed, when I stumbled upon yet another article—written by a psychologist named Dr. Suzanne Phillps, Psy.D—extolling the benefits of treating your partner as you do your pet. I understand that it’s hard to think about new ways to write about relationships, but can we quit equating beasts with boys? (Dogs are far more loyal!)The idea of using animal husbandry to deal with your human boo is not a new one. Much was made of a NY Times article (and subsequent book) from a few years back entitled, “What Shamu Taught Me About a Happy Marriage.” In it, the author discussed how her time studying animal trainers taught her how to train her husband to be a “little easier to love.” No word on how her husband felt about being compared to a trained seal.

This latest article isn’t so much about “training” your man, but treating him as you do your dog and thereby somehow improving your relationship. The doctor advises you lower your expectations of good behavior—after all, you don’t expect Mr. Mittens to blow his whole paycheck on beer and scratch-off lottery tickets, so when he doesn’t, it’s a win/win. Good boy!

Is anyone else puzzled by this line of thinking? How far are you supposed to carry this craziness?

Contents

  • Punishment
  • Pooper Scooper-ing
  • Leg Humping
  • Persistent Leg Humpers

Punishment

Source: Pinterest

When Inky the cat lunges towards the only piece of art in my apartment that was ever worth anything, in order to dig his nails in deep and swing from it, I scream and squirt him with one of several strategically placed spray bottles. If he’s being particularly obnoxious, I lock in the bathroom.

Aside from having to switch things around so the bathroom locks from the outside, why wouldn’t this work on a man? Oh, because everyone knows withholding sex is a far more effective deterrent.

Kidding! Though I have actually tried the squirt bottle. My man was not amused.

Pooper Scooper-ing

Source: flickr

One of the main reasons I don’t own a dog is because I live in a city that requires owners to scoop up their dog’s poop. As a frequent sandal-wearer, I am grateful for this law, but it also means I’ll never own the Puggle of my dreams because I’d spend too much time dry-heaving over the content of plastic baggies.

If cleaning-up-after was a requirement for having a man, I’d send my regrets and stay celibate.

Leg Humping

Humpy dogs get neutered.

Enough said.

Persistent Leg Humpers

Source: Tochka

Even after they’ve been snipped, some dogs just stay humpy. To remedy that, most dog owners will use a firm “no!” or maybe bust out the aforementioned spray bottle. If Barky still won’t let go, you can just grab him by the scruff of the neck and remove him, apologizing to your guest (or throw pillow) profusely.

When I saw a long-ago now-ex making out with a mutual friend while he and I were on a date, I used a variation on the scruff-of-the-neck maneuver and it worked. Though while I wouldn’t abandon an overly randy pup, I did leave the man on the side of the road.

One of the more eye-rolling pieces of advice gleaned from the article posits that you should always greet your mate affectionately and enthusiastically, no matter how crappy your day was or how angry you might be at him. Which brings us to my favorite—never hold a grudge. Would you stay angry if Lola the Lab shredded your new sofa? Well, I would, but apparently most pet-owners wouldn’t. And while I love my animals, I expect a lot more out of my mate.

So while these tips may work in theory, out here in the real world, they just seem like a load of, well … anal gland expressions.

Original by Judy McGuire

animal husbandryanimalsjudy mcguirelove advicepets
Judy McGuire
Judy McGuire

previous post
Girl Talk: Being A Lesbian Doesn’t Mean I Can’t Enjoy Sex With Men
next post
7 Celebrities That Made Millions From Bitcoin

Related Posts

How Pets Can Aid Your Health

January 11, 2021

5 Benefits of Private Jet Travels During the...

January 9, 2021

How Wild Animals Can Impact Your Health –...

December 31, 2020

Leave a Comment Cancel Reply

Recipe Rating




Save my name, email, and website in this browser for the next time I comment.

69  −    =  59

Recent Posts

  • Lee W. Johnson Net Worth 2021

    January 27, 2021
  • How to Work Comfortably from Home Without Losing Productivity

    January 27, 2021
  • 5 Best Podcasts About Cryptocurrency & Blockchain To Follow in 2021

    January 27, 2021
  • How Do I Stop My Knees From Hurting When I Play Basketball?

    January 27, 2021
  • 5 DIY Tips And Tricks For Hanging a Tapestry

    January 27, 2021
  • Doing Most Popular Tips In 2021 By The Coupons

    January 26, 2021
  • Essa Merchant Bringing in a Celebration of 25+ Years

    January 26, 2021
  • Benefits of Having Ergonomic Chairs in Your Office

    January 26, 2021

Categories

  • Animals
  • Art
  • Astrology
  • Beard Care
  • Beauty
  • Betting
  • Biography
  • Business
  • Buying Guides
  • Cars
  • Casino
  • CBD
  • Celebs
  • Children
  • Clippers
  • Couple Time
  • COVID-19
  • Culture
  • Design
  • DIY
  • Economics
  • Education
  • Entertainment
  • Fashion
  • Featured
  • Food
  • Galleries
  • Games
  • Gardening
  • Girl
  • Gossip
  • Guys
  • Hair Care Tips
  • Hair Dryers
  • Hair loss
  • Hairstyles
  • Health
  • Highlights
  • History
  • Hobby
  • Home
  • Horoscopes
  • Hot Rollers
  • How to …
  • Industry
  • Legal Advice
  • Lifestyle
  • Love & Sex
  • Love Your Self
  • Mind & Body
  • Money
  • Motorcycle
  • Movies
  • Music
  • Net Worth
  • News
  • Parenting
  • People
  • Pets
  • Products for Hair
  • Recipes
  • Relationships
  • Royals
  • SEO
  • Skincare
  • Sports
  • Style
  • Super Stars
  • Tech
  • The Body
  • Tips
  • Tips & Tricks
  • Tools
  • Toys
  • Travel
  • Uncategorized
  • Vehicle
  • Video
  • Wedding

Contact us:

santosmilewa [at] demotix.com

Footer Logo
  • About Us
  • Latest
  • Contact Us

@2021 - All Right Reserved.

The Frisky
  • Home
  • News
  • Health
  • Celebs
  • Movies
  • Love
  • Relationships
  • Style
  • Entertainment
  • Parenting
  • Royals
  • Travel
@2021 - All Right Reserved.
We use cookies to ensure that we give you the best experience on our website. If you continue to use this site we will assume that you are happy with it.Ok