Wouldn’t Christmas be a little bit better if you knew that your local shopping mall Santa was actually a famous celebrity? Standing in line with 100 screaming children and waiting for your kid to freeze up on the Big Man’s lap would be that much more tolerable if you knew it was Ryan Gosling underneath that velvety, red suit…or maybe Beyoncé. And since there’s still time for malls to save Christmas, here’s a list of 15 celebs who would totally slay as Saint Nick.
Kids won’t be the only ones eager to sit on Santa’s lap. I’m pretty sure grown men and women would all wait in line to see if they can feel Santa’s Candy Cane.
He can sing, act, and pick out the perfect present. If he runs out of red choo-choo trains or pink jump ropes, he will present you with a Dick In A Box. Presents for all.
Let’s squash those rumors about Santa not being able to be black. If Santa is black, he’s gonna be a baller like Morgan Freeman. End of story.
And since we’re on the topic of black Santas, let’s make Kris Kringle a black woman! YOU get a Humpback Whale, and YOU get a Humpback Whale. EVERYBODY GETS A HUMPBACK WHALE!!!
If he can’t provide you with the present you want, he will adopt you.
Michael Gambon AKA Dumbledore
He already has the long beard, and looks like Saint Nick, so duh. This also applies to any and all cast members of “Duck Dynasty,” provided they dye their facial hair.
He already has experience as Mr. Claus from dressing up as Santa in The One With The Holiday Armadillo. And let’s be serious, could he BE any jollier?
I love nothing more than not knowing what to expect from Santa Claus. Kids will take turns sitting on his lap until he flips out at one for no good reason. It’s like an exciting game of Christmas Russian Roulette, just with his words.
Who wouldn’t want to sit on a Prince’s lap? Maybe he’ll find a tush he likes, and take it home to meet the Queen.
Because the more time she spends as Santa Claus, the less time she spends as Kim Kardashian.
She puts the T&A into SANTA.
Ellen has kids on her show all the time, and they absolutely adore her. Plus, is there anyone whose face she can’t put a smile on? The answer is no.
This year, Santa will ditch his timeless red suit in favor of a 10-piece collection of Christmas decorations worn as various undergarments. I’d totally stand in line to see a tree topper that also functions as a bra.
Sit on his lap, tell him exactly what you want from him and that you’ve been naughty this year. It’s every girl’s wet dream come true.
If BeyonSanta isn’t already a thing, it should be.
Original by Katie Oldenburg