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Entertainment

15 Groupon Deals I Would Actually Use

by Wendy Stokes November 7, 2018
by Wendy Stokes November 7, 2018

I used to love Groupon, but lately the offers showing up in my inbox are getting more and more tragic. Five dollars for $15 worth of tempura at the sushi buffet a few suburbs over? No thanks. Half-priced Botox at a “salon” in a converted warehouse? I’ll pass. But all these epic Groupon fails did get me thinking about the kinds of Groupons I would actually be eager to use. Most of them are of the fantasy variety, but hey, a girl can dream. Here are 15 imaginary Groupon deals I would redeem in a hot minute:

1. $30 for $3000 worth of unexpected car repairs.

2. 10 minutes of light exertion for the benefits of an hour of intense exercise.

3. Half off the amount of time I spend on hold with the cable company.

4. 70% off the usual number of guilt-trippy phone calls I get from family members in any given week.

5. Buy one classic novel, get the motivation to actually read it free!

6. 90% discount on wine and dark chocolate (redeemable when I’m on my period).

7. Two-for-one orgasms (redeemable anytime).

8. $100 for $1000 worth of student loan payments.

9. 67% extra restraint when I’m about to say something awkward to someone I just met at a party.

10. 10 extra chores done in the time it takes to do 1.

11. 30 french fries for the calories of 1 carrot stick.

12. 80% off the size of a prominent zit.

13. Two-for-one compliments on days I’m feeling iffy about my outfit.

14. 75% off my rent.

15. 10 free heartfelt postcards for every 1 piece of junk mail.

Original by Winona Dimeo-Ediger

grouponhumorTop 10
Wendy Stokes

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TheFrisky.com is a participant in the Amazon Services LLC Associates Program, an affiliate advertising program designed to provide a means for sites to earn advertising fees by advertising and linking to Amazon.com. Amazon, the Amazon logo, AmazonSupply, and the AmazonSupply logo are trademarks of Amazon.com, Inc. or its affiliates.

We at TheFrisky participate in various affiliate marketing programs, which means we may earn commissions on products or services that we recommend or promote through our website. When you click on a link to purchase a product or service that we have recommended or promoted, we may earn a commission from the sale. This commission helps us maintain and improve our website and provide you with valuable information and resources.