Crystal Harris majorly broke Hugh Hefner‘s heart when she called off their wedding. It doesn’t help that, since their split, she has been seen multiple times with Dr. Phil’s son, Jordan McGraw. But now Crystal is adding injury to insult, hitting Hugh below the belt. Literally. In other words, she told Howard Stern that their sex life totally sucked. She says that during her courtship with Hugh, they only had sex once and that it lasted “like two seconds.” She also implied that he has body issues. “He doesn’t really take off his clothes. I’ve never seen Hef naked,” she said. “Then I was just over it. I was like, ‘Ahhh.’ I was over it. I just like, walked away. I’m not turned on by Hef, sorry.” All this leads to the ultimate question: why did you accept his proposal? But we’ll move past that. [People] Really, are you actually surprised Hefner can’t practice what he preaches? We’re not. But we were a little surprised by at least a few of these other celebs who are reportedly duds in the sex department. Keeping reading to find out the dirty details …

Hugh Hefner

Source: The Daily Dot

Kendra Wilkinson and Playmate Izabella St. James second the emotion that Hugh isn’t as skilled in bed as his empire would imply. In Kendra’s book, she related “hopping” on Hugh for a one-minute ride. And St. James wrote in her memoir, “I wanted to see if this experienced King of Sexdom knew anything the rest of us did not. But he just lay there like a dead fish. We often wondered why he did it at all. He must know deep down that it is just a show. But he is trying to live out this fantasy he has been selling to people since 1954.” [via Huffington Post]

Jesse James

Source: Us Weekly

Jesse James‘s lady number three, Brigitte Daguerre, said that the Chopper cheater was a “dud in bed who only cared about himself.” Which shouldn’t be that surprising — it’s hard to imagine a man in adult-sized OshKosh B’gosh overalls pulling his weight in the bedroom. On the plus side, it means that Sandra Bullock maybe got a “get out of bad sex jail free” card. [Perez Hilton]

Colin Farrell

Source: Syfy

Woody Allen‘s former au pair once said that Colin Farrell was a lame lover: “I kept having to fake orgasms—one, two, three—to keep him happy and let him keep his dignity. It seemed the polite thing to do … It was too clinical. He didn’t at all come across as a sex god who had slept with countless woman. If I didn’t know better, I could almost have thought it was his first time … Once he’d got what he fancied—in about 10 seconds flat—he just wanted to go to sleep.” Totally shocking! But I guess quantity doesn’t equal quality. [Celebitchy]

Nick Lachey

Source: Getty Images

Jessica Simpson made a low blow against ex-husband Nick Lachey when she revealed that their sex life was far from 98 Degrees. “Nick’s small package was a problem sometimes. Like the first time we had sex, to tell you the truth, I didn’t really feel much, I faked the whole thing, I really felt sorry for him, I still loved him though.” [Hollyscoop]

Maria Sharapova

Source: Porsche Newsroom

Adam Levine was once quoted talking about a romp with tennis star Maria Sharapova. He supposedly said, “I can’t tell you how disappointed I was. I really thought, like a lot of guys, that she’d be the loud screaming type … She wouldn’t make any noise during sex… She just lay there like a dead frog. She even got angry if I started to moan, said it ‘ruined her concentration’. It was so disillusioning that I went on Paxil for a month afterwards.” He claims these words never came out of his mouth, though. [Female First]

Brody Jenner

Source: Pinterest

“The Hills” stars Kristin Cavallari and Brody Jenner had an on-air fling, but Kristin apparently wasn’t impressed by his moves, saying he was just “vanilla” in bed and didn’t do anything “outside the box.” Brody wasn’t too fazed by the comments. “I laugh at that, and you’ll laugh too once you see the rest of the season,” he says. “I take the high road, but she was obviously just bitter about something.” Hmm … we’d have to watch “The Hills” to find out why she’s so bitter? That sounds like way too much work. [Amy Grindhouse]

50 Cent

Source: New York Post

An exotic dancer shared her 50 Cent‘s worth, dishing on the rapper, “He was saying corny lines like ‘You know I really like you’ … After a couple of minutes of that, I had to tell him—are we going to get it popping or are we going to talk. I couldn’t believe it—here was 50, supposed to be all tough, acting like a 14 year old boy … 50 is definitely not packing. He’s barely 6 inches … I was thinking, what does he expect to do with that little thing? On a scale of 1 to 10, I’d give him a 3. He probably deserves lower than that, but I gave him extra points because he was respectful.” Well, that makes one of you! [DyFuse]

Russell Brand

Source: Sky News

Russell Brand may have found love with Katy Perry, but when he was a radio DJ, he went on air and called the grandfather of his former hook-up, Georgina Baillie (her grandpa is actor Andrew Sachs), to say that he’d slept with his granddaughter. Georgina says that Brand was “a disappointment” in bed and kept yelling her grandfather’s “Fawlty Towers” catchphrase, “Qué?” in the bedroom all night. Which is awkward on so many levels. [Company]

Elvis Presley

Source: GRAMMY.com

Supposedly, Elvis Presley may have fooled us with those hip gyrations. His buddy Byron Raphael claims that he used to procure women for the King and that many of them were not impressed. Apparently, Natalie Wood was a particularly unhappy camper. She allegedly told him, Elvis “didn’t know how to screw.” So forget the hunka, hunka, burnin’ love thing. [Female First]

Paris Hilton

Source: Getty Images

In fairness, there seems to be a difference of opinion on Paris Hilton‘s sex skills. Ex-boyfriend Nick Carter said, “She was a drunken prude who as far as I can see did not really like sex. She relied on drugs and drink to give her confidence in the bedroom and was more often than not too wasted to even perform. I lost count of the nights I had to pick her off the floor and drag her to bed passed out.” But that class act Joe Francis said, “Paris is the best … Paris is amazing in bed … better than anyone.” Guess we could always look to “One Night In Paris” for a third opinion?

Eminem

Source: Washington Examiner

Kim Mathers famously dissed ex-husband Eminem, saying, “He’s not very well endowed…. If you’re going to have sex with Marshall, make sure you have a little blue pill, because otherwise it does not work.” Ouch.

Stuart Townsend

Source: Pinterest

Charlize Theron didn’t say that her ex-boyfriend Stuart Townsend was a bad lover, but a friend said, “They had become more like brother and sister than lovers. It was she who ended it.” This makes me think the sex got kind of weird and not in a good way. But we’ve totally been there in relationships—where you look down and go, ‘Ack! He still gives me noogies! What am I doing?’ [Celebitchy]

Tiger Woods

Source: Getty Images

He didn’t sleep with Tiger Woods, but Dr. John Gray, who wrote Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus, thinks that Tiger must be a bad lover. He said of Tiger’s relationship with Elin, “It’s not just about a matter of having regular sex—she needs to be having an orgasm most of the time, not every time, but most of the time. Clearly, she wasn’t. When a woman has an orgasm in sex, she produces a huge amount of pheromones that attract a man … [Bad sex] led to him having affairs and her faking orgasms.” [LimeLife]

Judd Apatow

Source: Digital Trends

Judd Apatow took a different approach. He claims he’s a bad lover. “I said to the girl after my first time, ‘Hey, was it good for you, too?’ And she said, ‘Well, I guess it’ll get better eventually.'” He also talked about giving his pubes a youthful appearance by dyeing out the gray hairs. “I use Grecian Formula now,” he said. “It still looks distinguished. From a certain angle it kind of looks like Ben Kingsley.” Sounds like Leslie Mann found herself a catch! [Female First]

Sophie Monk

Source: thenewdaily.com.au

Gorgeous Australian model Sophie Monk is under the impression that she’s no good at the love-making: “I think I am a dud, honestly. No one is going to tell you you’re bad in bed.” Someone get that girl a bottle of confidence. [The Sun]

Keith Olbermann

Source: Adweek

Some random brunette woman who goes by the internet moniker of KarmaBites1 spilled the dirty deets on her love sesh with MSNBC commentator Keith Olbermann. “I pretended he knew what he was doing. I adored the guy,” she said. “I didn’t want him to think he was a dud in bed.” Six days later, apparently, Olbermann emailed her to tell her to never contact him again. She says, “I practically begged him to explain what I did wrong. I told him I deserved some kind of explanation for such a dismissal, but I never heard from him again.” Maybe it’s because you blogged about the guy being bad in bed? Just a hunch. [Live Leak]

Original by The Frisky