I’m a lucky gal. I am very close with my mom and feel comfortable opening up to her with just about everything under the sun. But there are still a few things that I never, ever, ever, evvvvver want my mom to know about me, mostly because I really don’t want to see or deal with her reaction. In honor of this coming Mother’s Day, I polled my fellow Frisky staffers about what they would just DIE to have their mom learn about them. Share yours in the comments!
If my mom ever found out …
1. …how much money I spent on wine during the last year, she’d be like:
2. …the derogatory names I sometimes kinda like to be called in bed, she’d be like:
3. …that I fucked a Republican not just once, but for, like, a full month, she’d be like:
4. …how many cigarettes I actually smoke a day/week, she’d be like:
5. …the amount of times I’ve lost my wallet in the past year (that would be three times), she’d be like:
6. …that I launder my sheets veeeerrrrry infrequently, she’d be like:
7. …that I’ve never paid a bill on time. she’d be like:
8. …that I eat pizza for dinner, like, four times a week, she’d be like:
9. …that I’m not planning on ever getting married, she’d be like:
10. …that I’ve had unprotected sex, she’d be like:
11. …that I used to smoke pot in my bedroom and said it was incense, she’d be like:
12. …the number of people I’ve had sex with — and that I don’t know the last names of some of them — she’d be like:
13. …the amount of money I spend on clothes, she’d be like:
14. …that I’ve contemplated suicide, she’d be like:
15. …that I might really not want to have kids and I’m not just saying that, she’d be like:
16. …that I haven’t had a physical since I was 25, she’d be like:
17. …the various drugs I’ve done and with whom, she’d be like:
18. …that I still ride my bike without a helmet, even though she’s begged me not to, she’d be like:
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