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19 Hats That Will Not Get A Dude Laid

by The Frisky July 19, 2012
by The Frisky July 19, 2012 Source: buzzfeed.com
1.3K

“Spectacular Sea Hats” as Buzzfeed calls them, would not be so spectacular should this man, say, want to woo a lady. Or get her in the sack. Let’s face it, a man who wears a jellyfish hat is a man who goes to bed lonely. Note to all dudes considering a Spectacular Sea Hat purchase: Take the plush octopus off your head. And while we’re at it, here are some more hats that will not earn a man any points with the ladies…

Contents

Propeller Hat

Source: eBay

Fly far, far away from me, propeller hat man.

The Spirit Hood

Source: Pinterest

Paws off, dude.

The Hair Visor

Source: AliExpress.com

You’re better off with a bad toupee.

The Umbrella Hat

Source: Hawkin’s Bazaar

This hat is bound to keep any woman very, very dry.

Poop Hat

Source: Party City

Yes. That’s a pile of poop.

The Ponytail Cap

Source: RedCafe.net

There is truly no reason for a man to pretend to have long, flowing locks.

Cheetah Doo Rag

Source: Etsy

This will do nothing for your street cred.

The Hair Hat

Source: Improvised Life

A hat you can trim. Hmmmm.

I Love My Penis Hat

Source: Etsy

Good for you! GO AWAY!

The Beard Beanie

Source: Beardo

Don’t make me shave that hat off your face.

The TP Hat

Source: Gadget Review

He’s buddies with the guy who wears the poop hat.

Flower Pot Hat

Source: Heaven Costumes

You are supposed to give flowers, not wear them.

The Beer Hat

Source: aliexpress.com

You can’t drink your beers like a normal human.

Corn Hat

Source: Flickr

On the cob, yes. On the head, no.

Hot Dog Hat

Source: I Love Fancy Dress

What a wiener.

Boob Inspector

Source: Trade Me

Show up in that hat and you’re fired.

Penis Hat

Source: Ravelry

This hat arouses nothing but fear in me.

The Porcupine Hat

Source: Exquisite African Art

Nobody will be running her hands through his quills.

Original by: Ami Angelowicz

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