19 Secrets You Shouldn’t Tell Your Boyfriend

The foundation of any strong relationship is honesty. That’s why your partner should trust that the details you’re omitting are for their own good. Before you go ruining a good thing with the “truth,” here are some secrets you better keep from him.

1. You think he put on weight.
2. An ex-boyfriend bought you that necklace you always wear.
3. He’s not your physical type.
4. You read What Shamu Taught Me About Life, Love, and Marriage: Lessons For People From Animals And Their Trainers and have been applying its teachings ever since.
5. You hate his favorite T-shirt.
6. What his face looks like when he orgasms.
7. How much money those new shoes really cost.
8. Your parents/shrink/friends/kids/coworkers don’t like him.
9. You don’t floss.
10. Your exes were a lot hotter.
11. You just puked a little in your mouth.
12. That he reminds you of your mom/dad/sibling.
13. How much you weigh.
14. That you cheated on an ex.
15. You thought you were pregnant, but you weren’t.
16. How long it’s been since you last pooped.
17. You think he’s effeminate.
18. That you love him, if he hasn’t already said those three words first.
19. This bra is padded.

Original by Simcha Whitehill