We’ve all been there: it’s Sunday morning and that new Essie nail color is calling your name. You decide to paint your nails, completely forgetting that for an extended period of time after your mani, you’re unable to do a damn thing except sit still with your fingers stretched out in front of you like you’re a frightened baby animal. Even the most simple everyday tasks are impossible. Just give yourself a fresh coat of “Ballet Slipper” pink? Do not attempt to do any of these common things.
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1. Take a credit card out of your wallet.
2. Put your coat on.
3. Type on a keyboard.
4. Unbutton your jeans.
5. Wipe your butt after going to the bathroom.
6. Scratch an itch.
7. Reach into your purse.
8. Text.
9. Eat anything from a bag.
10. Grab your keys.
11. Have sex.
12. Write.
13. Reach in your pocket.
14. Do your eye makeup.
15. Bathe.
16. Put on or take off clothing.
17. Attempt to put on a seat belt.
18. Sort laundry.
19. Pick your nose…
20. Or a wedgie.
21. Tie your shoes
22. Shake someone’s hand.
23. Open an envelope
24. Take a nap
25. Masturbate
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