My most baffling cheater moment was when my high school boyfriend told me those hickeys on his neck were bruises that he got from playing soccer. Dumb, dumb Jessica.
But it turns out that jerk’s lame lie was actually not the most ridiculous thing a cheater has ever said. “Things cheaters say” is a trending topic on Twitter right now, so I gathered up 25 of the best (read: worst) of these twitty tweets …
- “It just happened!”
- “Who’re you gonna believe, me or her?”
- “It’s not what it looks like!”
- “But I love you!”
- “I was thinking of you the entire time … “
- “Why would I need anyone else when I have someone as beautiful, intelligent and sexy as you?”
- “”I was drunk that night!”
- “I know I did it before, but that was in the past … Don’t you trust me?
- “She used mind control.”
- “It was just one time!”
- “Stop reading into things!”
- “It’s hackers, baby … that’s the only way that message could have been sent from my Facebook.”
- “That’s not a hickey — I had an incident with the vacuum cleaner!”
- “I don’t love her, I love you!”
- “I didn’t know what I was doing.”
- “We fell asleep watching a movie and when I woke up, she was on top of me!”
- “Why are you asking so many questions? Does it matter where or what time I had dinner?”
- “God has forgiven me, why can’t you?”
- “It’s not you, it’s me.”
- “I thought you trusted me!”
- “We just fooled around a little.”
- “Well, I thought you were cheating on me, so …”
- “I’m working overtime tonight … don’t wait for me.”
- “I made a mistake.”
- “She’s just a friend.”
Original by Jessica Wakeman
