Tinder queen and author of “Tinder Roulette” Mel Delancey has bravely survived more than 150 Tinder dates and not only lives to tell her tales, but has graciously shared tips for straight men looking to meet their own glowing Tinder Queen(s). As obvious as many of these faux-pas may be, there are widespread and easily fixed. So without further adieu, here are five expert endorsed dating tips, from the seasoned veteran herself!
1. For The Love Of God, Don’t Start The Conversation Out With A Portrait Of Your Dick
As common sense as it may sound, Delancey reported an overwhelming amount of men have decided that the surefire way to charm her was through an artistic opening text either straight up showing off their package, or explicitly describing how their package longed to be united with her bod. Please don’t do this. Establish yourselves as human beings with words before getting down to the dirty-dirty.
2. Find A More Creative Opener Than “Hey” or “What’s Up”
Opening a conversation with something as generalized and dead-end as: “Hey,” “What’s up,” or “What you doing,” is as common a mistake as it is boring. You don’t have to be a linguistic genius or a poet laureate to get the ball rolling, just skim the profile of your potential date and find a fitting question to launch your conversation. Delancey said that lets know her prospective date is actually paying attention, and gives easy conversation to launch into.
3. Don’t Double-book Or Enter A Date With Back-up Plans
As tempting as it is to double-book in case a date cancels, or make back-end plans in order to cut a date short, Delancey said it was consistently frustrating to clear her schedule for a date who was going to bail after 45 minutes, or even worse bail altogether. Be straightforward about your schedule if you have something following the date, be considerate and stick to your plans. After all, it’s only one date (and you never know when your date is going to include you in a book about Tinder)!
4. Be Decisive, Have A Place In Mind
Making decisions is hard, especially when it’s something as essential and emotionally wrenching as food, and doubly so when you’re negotiating decisions with someone you’ve never met before! It makes the ordeal simpler for everyone if you have a spot or two in mind that your date can agree to, (or refuse if she’s got her mind set on something else). Decisiveness and preparedness are sexy and show confidence. Nothing deflates chemistry more than a ping-pong game of: “I don’t know what I wanna do, do you?”
5. Make Your First Date Casual
Dinner can be an intense, expensive and mostly-silent ordeal for a first date. It’s safer (and more playful and flexible) to make your first meeting over coffee or drinks, that way if the chemistry isn’t there you can peace after one drink, but if the sparks are flying you can graduate to a drunken or overly-caffeinated meal!
The main and most obvious takeaway from Mel’s deep foray into the jungle of Tinder? Think about what interests and attracts you to someone, what behaviors turn you on and draw you in, and considerately implement those on your potential matches. Unless of course, what attracts you to partners is a barrage of unsolicited nudes and dead-end conversation, in that case — get a feel for the other person and follow their lead.