The sexiest skin flicks out there don’t come from porn, but from Hollywood: Gael Garcia Bernal‘s supa-hot three-way in Y Tu Mama Tambien; James Spader spanking Maggie Gyllenhaal in Secretary; the unimaginable horrors of vagina dentata in Teeth. And don’t even get us started on “Last Tango In Paris.”
Here are the eight dirtiest movies we’ve ever seen — and make sure to tell us yours in the comments!
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Bachelor Mistakes G1
On last night’s season finale of “The Bachelorette,” as we’ve already told you, like, twice, Ali Fedotowsky gave Roberto Martinez her final rose. He then put aside his love for me and proposed to her, thus breaking my heart. Also left heartbroken: Chris Lampton, the sexy but sweet high school teacher from Cape Cod, who left his job in NYC in order to move home and care for his dying mother. Ali let him off easy, ending their relationship before the final rose ceremony, but no doubt many fans of the show think she made a mistake. We’ve got high hopes that Ali and Roberto are in it for the long haul, but honestly, we would have been saying the same thing if she had chosen Chris in the end. The girl just couldn’t go wrong. But considering that the vast majority of the relationships formed on “The Bachelor” and “Bachelorette” have not worked out — many of them ending after only a few months in “the real world” — there’s an argument to be made that sometimes the final rose is given to the wrong person. Here are five “Bachelor” and “Bachelorette” contestants we think had an error in judgment.
Bachelor Mistakes G2
Bachelor Mistakes G3
Bachelorette: Jillian Harris
Who She Chose: Ed Swiderski
Who She Should Have Chose: Reid Rosenthal
Reid wasn’t the runner-up on Jillian‘s season of “The Bachelorette” — Kiptyn Locke was — but he should have been and he made that known when he came back on the final episode to beg her to be with him. It would have been pathetic if Reid weren’t such a rad dude and a much better fit for Jillian than that multiple-girlfriend-having turd Ed. Reid was nerdy and spectacled and endearing, while Ed actually left the show midway through for “work” reasons, and then actually had the nerve to come back — and Jillian took him! Meanwhile, she ousted Reid because “the promise of any sort of commitment wasn’t there.” Basically, beyatch wanted a proposal and Reid wasn’t promising her one early enough to her liking. Since the show, she and Ed have broken up, though some reports indicate they’re still trying to work on their relationship. Ed may have given her a ring, but I think he’s also been giving her the runaround. Reid is the stand-up guy she ultimately wanted, not that ding-a-ling in the short-shorts.
Bachelor Mistakes G4
Bachelor: Bob Guiney
Who He Chose: Estella Gardinier
Who He Should Have Chose: Meredith Phillips
Bachelor Bob, as he was known, was immensely popular with viewers when he was a contestant on Trista Rehn’s season of “The Bachelorette,” so much so that he became “The Bachelor,” despite being a little tubbier than the stars of these shows are usually allowed. Anyway, in the end, Bob chose between Estella and Kelly Jo and Estella won — only to be dumped, like, a hot second after the finale aired. Bob went on to marry and then divorce soap star Rebecca Budig, but I think he would have been better off if he had kept Meredith Phillips around to the end and gave her the final rose. Meredith was amazing — smart, funny, cultured, beautiful but in a totally unique way — and she and Bob clicked. Frankly, she was way too good for Bachelor BLOB, but this is about who heshould have chosen, not whether she should have accepted.
Bachelor Mistakes G5
Bachelor: Travis Stork
Who He Chose: Sarah Stone
Who He Should Have Chose: Moana Dixon
No offense to Sarah Stone, as she was a sweet woman, but Travis had more sexual chemistry with Chris Harrison, the host, than he did with her. And he had even more heat with Moana Dixon, his runner-up. Travis succumbed to making the safe choice by picking Sarah — she was perfect wife and mother material, if we’re being traditional, and they had a rock-solid friendship to build a relationship on. But they had zero sizzle. Moana caught a lot of flack from the other women in the house, but she was in it to win it and she loved Travis, body and soul. She was a spitfire and a little bit off-her-rocker, but Dr. Stork could have used some danger in his otherwise yawn-worthy life. Meanwhile, Sarah and Travis only lasted a few months after the show wrapped, surprise, surprise.
Bachelor Mistakes G6
Bachelor: Matt Grant
Who He Chose: Shayne Lamas
Who He Should Have Chose: Chelsea Wanstrath
Sigh. Poor British Bach. He was bamboozled by a member of Hollywood royalty. Don’t get me wrong, I lovvvved Shayne and her ridiculous personality (not to mention her amazing mother!), but homegirl was looking to emerge from daddy Lorenzo’s shadow and make a name for herself. She tossed her bleached blonde hair in front of Matt’s charming face and he was done for. She must have seemed so exotic. Though after Matt proposed to his “little monkey,” the two split, with rumors swirling that she cheated. Chelsea Wanstrath would have been a far saner choice for the sexy export — the two had great chemistry, both sexual and intellectual (well, as intellectual as you can get on a reality TV dating show), but she wasn’t a dingbat just using him to advance her career. At 25 to Shayne’s 22, Chelsea was eons more mature. Oh well, the British lose again!
Original by Jessica Wakeman