Reading Buzzfeed’s definitive ranking of foods to eat after sex, made us feel, well, nostalgic for our younger years. Once upon a time it was nice to eat an entire pint of Ben & Jerry’s Chunky Monkey post-coitus, back when our metabolisms burned it off like it was nothing. Coronas, which we used to suck down, just give us gas now. And cigarettes? Haven’t touched one after sex, or even socially, in years. However, we’re still human, so we still crave a satisfying snack after roll in hay. But we’re adults now. No more leftovers straight out of the fridge or Nutella straight out of the jar. Those days were fun, but they’re over. Click through for some upgrades to your favorite post-sex grub. Because you deserve better than cheese cubes. Cheese cubes are for toddlers.
[Photo from Shutterstock]
Instead Of A Pint Of Ben & Jerry’s Try…
Ben & Jerry’s is a perfect post-coital treat if you have the self-control to eat a few bites. We don’t. Instead, we like to indulge in Talenti Sea Salt Caramel Pops. Trust us, caramel gelato with sea salt, dipped in dark chocolate will definitely satisfy your sweet tooth. And it will only run you 200 calories instead of 1,200. [Talenti Gelato]
Instead Of Cheese Cubes Try…
Like we said, you’re far too dignified to eat cheese cubes while naked. These mini caprese bites are just about as easy to put on a toothpick as a block of America cheese, but you’ll look so much hotter eating them. [Framed Cooks]
Instead Of Nutella Straight Out Of The Jar Try…
Nutella out of the jar is great and all, but you know what’s even greater? Nutella cheesecake. The best part about this recipe is that it doesn’t take that much more effort to prepare than dipping your spoon into the jar to prepare. [Andy and Belle]
Instead Of Plain Bread Try…
Take an extra second before cramming that cold piece of bread in your mouth to dip it in egg and toss it in a pan. Drench in maple syrup and feed each other. Don’t worry about getting sticky because you can always shower together, have more sex, and then make more french toast. [A Cup of Jo]
Instead Of Corona Try…
Corona has a time and place: on a scorching hot afternoon, while sitting by the pool. Quench your post-sex thirst with something that makes your toes curl (like your partner just did). Monk’s Cafe Flemish Sour Ale is sure to satiate you (if you weren’t already). [Global Beer]
Instead Of Dino Chicken Nuggets Try…
When you reach a certain age, dinosaur-shaped chicken nuggets become an extinct part of your diet. You can replace them with something like chicken skewers or Buffalo Chicken Meatballs. If you just had a crazy, athletic session you can even nuke some frozen ones. At least they’re not shaped like animals. [Bake Your Day]
Instead Of Easy Mac Try…
It’s time to put aside the the processed cheese and introduce your post-coital palate to the siren song of swiss, spinach, and artichoke on thick-cut rustic bread. Add bacon if you’re feeling especially ravenous. [Petite Decadence]
Instead Of Popcorn Try…
Popcorn can be a little boring. Try a sweeter and spicier version — more reflective of the hot sex you just had. Siracha carmel corn will hit just the right note before you roll over and pass out. Bonus: it’s gluten free! [Domestic Fits]
Instead Of Leftover Chinese Food Try…
While nothing can truly replace the MSG hit of greasy noodles, you can get a similar flavor from a batch of healthy, delicious salad rolls with dipping sauce. Also they’re kinda phallic? So there’s that. [BS in the Kitchen]
Instead Of Chips And Storebought Salsa Try…
Great sex = a great workout. Refuel with some protein-packed hummus and crunchy pita chips. [Beauty and Beard]
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