Sexless marriage may not be a leading cause for divorces around the globe, but if it is not “treated” it may cause problems in long-term commitments or marriages. Studies show that around 10% of couples under the age of 50, haven’t had any intercourse in the past year, and 20% of couples under the age of 40, had sex once a month, or even few times a year. By definition, non-sexual marriage describes couples that have any sort of intimacy less than 10 times per year, by which National health survey categorized around 20% of couples.
So, why is sexlessness frequent in our society? We can bang our heads looking for a concrete answer, but there is no universal thing to it, it’s just something that is individual or something that made both individuals passively agree to it. There are things that are known to science, like vaginismus and erectile dysfunction. Low level of sexual desire because of clinical depression or habituation, and post-pregnancy issues as well as hormonal imbalance. Avoiding child conception or sexually transmitted diseases, and sometimes adultery, where a cheated spouse avoids having sex with a sinful one.
Therefore, if you find yourself among these common causes (we hope you don’t) here are some ways how you can spice things up a little bit (and probably save your marriage).
Go easy at first
First of all, both of you should agree that sex is important and beneficial, and you should set a priority not to let it slip out of your routine.
Try with making out. You know, like a couple of teenagers dry humping on a park bench. Spark that fire that made you two come together. While watching TV after a long day of work, Instead of waiting for the commercials, pause that show and jump right to it. It will pleasantly surprise your partner for sure. And if you two have a routine of watching things together, try with porn. At least it can give you some inspiration.
Use expectancy as a tool
You know that feeling when you finally get that thing you waited 2 weeks to ship from China? Well, expectancy has its place in the rewarding hormonal system, so you can guess what can happen if you build sexual tension with your partner throughout the day. Try sexting, or just talking about it with your partner, leastwise it will make fun out of a boring day at work. Leave sex signals across the house, or when you pass by your spouse. Have a go with some dirty talk, and if you are not that type of person, be romantic, leave a love note, remind him/her why you love them, it’s a way to go.
Get handsy
Try just with the foreplay. Or a long one beforehand. Surprise your partner with some oral sex in the morning, and include some food in it, like whipped cream, two pleasures at once. Sex out of the blue, whether it is in the morning or any part of the day, it does its work. And if you like being secretive, try setting up a scene. Surprise your partner with some dinner (preferably homemade), dim the lights, light the candles, play some love/sex music on Spotify (and for girls, put them high heels on), and let the magic do its thing.
Get experimental
Games make any gathering fun. But sex games, double the fun. Buy some toys from a local sex shop, or use some pleasure oil, it intensifies both sides pleasure receptors. Tie her up or do some BDSM, be spanky and dominant. And if you like costume parties, try some role-playing. Be a plumber, or be a French Maiden. And if you like lingerie, you can get some kinky cloth, plenty of cool stuff to find online.
To make things fun during sex, use a kama sutra or cosmopolitan sex position guide. Anal sex can refresh things in bed since it is an intense and unique experience despite being prejudiced as painful and dirty. The bed is cool but try doing it anywhere but the bedroom, or even public (jitters and sex are a perfect combination). Or make a tradition to have one naked day in a week, it leads to plenty of sex.
We hope that this plethora of kinky and sexy tips will inspire both of you. Enjoy your private time.
