What do you understand about spark? It’s like a flare or gleam or flash that excites us. Here I’m referring to spark to the liveliness of a relationship. Spark is the universal current that passes through you when you rendezvous with your soul mate. Some people experience spark as really nerve-wracking and exhilarating at the same time. Although when your long-time relationship turns into marriage, everything from personality to responsibility changes. The spark should not be lost, but there is no passion in the relationship if it does. It feels like you’re losing a significant part of yourself.
As time flies, losing the spark gives rise to more conflicts, and we end up depressing ourselves and finding alternatives to save a relationship. You start looking for new relationships, meet local singles, and go on dates. Spark is something that should be much more emphasized in a relationship.
What Is The Spark?
Have you ever experienced butterflies while being with your partner? There are several stages of love; fortunately, you can reconnect with intimacy at every step. In the initial phase of a relationship, since everything is new to you, you have to learn more about your partner, and butterflies or sparks are there. Since good neurotransmitters like serotonin are released, we feel lightheaded, and everything seems happy.
Spark is undeniably mutual. No matter how long you’ve been in a relationship or marriage, the spark rejuvenates you every time. It can be an indicator of compatibility, and it is a compiled sensation of love, infatuation, and excitement. Once you start losing it, a whole cycle of negativity begins. It can be due to multiple reasons, like lack of kissing in a relationship, failure to share activities, lack of communication, or low personal relations. You usually get less interested in spending time with your partner at some point in the relationship. You may not realize, but you’ve stopped making efforts.
Spark is essential in a long-term relationship because this is what brought you with your partner. It will surely be the key to keeping your relationship satisfied.
Reasons Your Marriage Has Lost Its Spark
Initially, even a tiny touch of your loved one brings a deep thrill. As time passes, you will likely lose this initial feeling of grace and infatuation. It is real trouble if you consider your long-time commitment as a challenge. What makes us concentrate more on the flaws? Is it because now we’re too aware of our partners? Regardless of how long relationships have been, you deserve to be happy. It would be best to look for what’s making the spark drop. It can be due to:
1. Unresolved conflicts
Not every time conflicts are harmful. Undoubtedly continuous disputes between partners slowly drag them apart. Matches left unresolved create tension. It may be unacknowledged conflicts or poorly managed conflicts. It often happens when you are not physically or emotionally satisfied with your partner and start blaming him.
2. Lack of quality time together
As your relationship grows, you got a family, children, and a regular job. Between family and work obligations, we often must remember to spend quality time with our loved ones.
3. Financial stress
Financial stress is due to insufficient money, poor management, debt, overspending, or fear of losing the job. Financial stress puts pressure on your relationship.
4. Unrealistic expectations
Expectations vary from person to person; it has internal values. If you express unrealistic expectations, it might be a challenge for your partner. Sometimes, expectations are not acknowledged, leading to the suppression of feelings. You cannot expect anyone to think like you.
How to Bring the Spark Back In a Relationship
As the relationship matures, partners get too comfortable with each other, and that spark fades away. Spark sources attraction; it fills a relationship with more affection and interest. And the good thing is it can be reignited back anytime and save your relationship with the best. Here is how:
1. Increase emotional intimacy
Emotional intimacy is often lost when you don’t spend quality time with your partner. It can be regained anytime by:
- Giving your partner daily affirmation
- Giving compliments
- Ensuring physical satisfaction
- Gaining trust
- Make time for meaningful actions
2. Make time for appreciation and gratitude
Showing appreciation and gratitude reflects how emotionally you’re involved. It indicates how much you’re dedicated to your partner and shows positivity and appreciation.
3. Resolve conflicts with compassion and interest
Conflicts are something that lets us stonewall each other. The Gottman Institute states, “The difference between happy and unhappy couples is the balance between positive and negative interactions during conflicts.” You need to be respectful and resolve conflict considering your partner’s perspective. Communicate gently.
4. Improve communication techniques
Half of the things go out of hand when you talk rough and rudely.
- You should be clear and concise.
- Be mindful of nonverbal actions, as it affects more than your words.
- Keep your tone and voice moderate while speaking.
- Be an active listener.
- Think before you speak.
In the End
A good relationship is ensured with a never fading spark. Spark is not an everyday thing; it’s a sudden movement that thrills your soul. You find your partner more attractive when the spark is alive and more closeness is felt. As we get into marriage, we experience more stability, dependability, and comfort. Spark is likely to fade for a couple of reasons. Life turns out to be monotonous when the relationship loses its spark. After all, we all need excitement, thrill, mystery, and surprises at some point. The intimacy that has some secrecy keeps life balanced because human desires are never-ending.