When the fallback backfires.
Everyone has one of those pacts: If we’re both single in 15 years, we’ll get married. It’s nice in theory, but what happens when you actually end up with someone that you would consider to be a fallback? These people very bravely opened up about being in a relationship with someone simply because they couldn’t bring themselves to break up with their significant others.
If you’re wavering in a relationship you’re not sure of, some of these stories might snap some sense into you.
Check out their stories
“Stay for the Kid”
We made the choice to “stay for the kid” when I became pregnant at 17. Even on my wedding day all I wanted to do was run away. I didn’t want it, but I knew I couldn’t make ends meet on my own and he was a great dad, even as young as we were.
It’s been eight years and I can’t say things have always been perfect. We really had a lot of growing up to do, but I’m so happy to have him by my side. We built our lives from the ground up and it’s been a privilege. We’ve fought, nearly split a couple of times but we always come back to each other. He’s my best friend and I really don’t want to spend my time with anyone but him.
About a year ago I actually found out he didn’t want to get married either. He wanted to run away just as much as I did. So that was pretty interesting, because one of the reasons i didn’t want to leave was because I didn’t want to break his heart. Turns out he was thinking the same thing. (theanxiousknitter)
I don’t have stars in my eyes when I look at him, but I think he does for me. Anything I want to do is what he wants to do too, and not just to humor me, he seems to genuinely enjoy doing whatever it is that will make me happy. With time, I’ve come to appreciate him more and more to the point that now I don’t know what I’d do without him. But I often think that he deserves someone better than me, he deserves someone who will look at him the same way he looks at me. (DrextDemSklounst)
My story has all the makings of a bad Harlequin romance. I was young and in the military and met a very sweet Japanese girl. However her family didn’t like the idea of her marrying an American serviceman. Long story short, she ran away from her family at the risk of being disowned to come to the US and marry me. The problem was that as I stood at the altar I was just beginning to realize how different our expectations toward life were, not to mention our wildly differing libidos.
She was very down-to-earth and conservative in her approach to life. I wanted adventure and had big dreams. I stood there at the altar that day and really had my doubts. But we had been through so much that I just couldn’t tell her the truth. That was almost 30 years ago. Over the years we work together we’ll compromised. We found that her strengths complemented mine. We have often joked that we are like two halves of a jigsaw puzzle perfectly together. It has taken time and patience but we really have a very ideal relationship after all these years. (kcpt4zu)
Probably the best decision I ever made. 3 years ago I was so certain she was not the one for me simply because I was bored and wished I could kiss someone else. Well one beautiful road trip vacation was all it took for me to realize we are perfectly meant to be together. We’ve been married almost 2 years and together 6. I couldn’t be happier that I stuck it out and am confident in saying she is the one for me. (TheyCallMeMelo)
My wife and I were on again off again in our early twenties. I broke up with her then she would come over in a trench coat with nothing underneath and get me back that way. She actually has mental illness, severe anxiety and depression but she didn’t know it then. I really liked the good times, but when she went ‘crazy’ I really didn’t want any part of that. I couldn’t leave her because I felt she was just misunderstood even though my family didn’t want me to marry her.
I did, though, I proposed with my own free will and everything. Now, she has been to doctors and therapy and she deals much less with the anxiety and depression. I’m so happy I’m with her right now. She is my best friend and my lover. I truly expect to spend the rest of my life with her and be happy! (EverydayThunder)
I didn’t break up when I could, eventually married him because I had to do it and the eventual divorce turned into the most painful long-drawn thing out ever.
0/10 would not recommend.
Don’t be a coward like me, break up while you are still young and careless. (tonsofbull)
“S**t or get off the pot”
We’d been together 7 years and it was that ‘s**t or get off the pot’ next step of getting married or breaking up that I suppose a lot of couples face. We’d had some great times and though she was somewhat selfish and lazy I figured I could do a lot worse.
I’d hurt my back whilst on a round the world tour (that I exclusively paid for) that culminated in me proposing at the edge of the grand canyon. Unfortunately my back got worse when we returned and I lost my job one month after the wedding.
As I’d spent all of my savings taking us round the world, getting married, buying us a house we were quickly broke. I struggled being unemployed and in pain.
She coped by going out drinking with her friends most nights and after several honest conversations it became obvious she would not be providing any support, emotional, physical etc.
It came to a head when I offered her £100 (my only birthday money) so that she could go on a pre planned weekend break and she complained it wasn’t enough. (waftycrankerr)
A Horror Story
Ive been alienated from all my friends and am basically on house arrest under constant watch (unable to use my phone without being questioned.) and am unable to take part in some of the things that gave me joy (e.g. smoking a joint on a friday night). Im allowed out to work my 60 hour weeks though.
Meanwhile she has a great social life, goes out / uses her phone constantly, has been caught cheating twice with the same guy & will randomly stop all forms of housework and explode at me for “doing nothing” after a 15 hour shift. This weekend, She had me driving all weekend and i cooked 4 days in a row, asked her what she was doing for dinner and got told to f**k off.
I found out i had a brother/sister from my dads side (met him once aged 12, dead now) and shortly after meeting them for the first time went behind my back and began begging them for money ( ?!?! we didnt need it) and they promptly dropped all contact with me. That was fun.
Oh and the sex is probably on average every 6-8 weeks, not that i care much anymore.
Ive been reduced to working and online gaming, she has totally removed my independence and masculinity. I think the only reason i stick around is because she has systematically destroyed me as a person and its just easier this way, i honestly wouldn’t know how to escape the deep roots she has implanted on me.
Its ok though, i enjoy gaming i guess. [Username deleted]
I have been married for 31 years for just that very reason. I knew the first year I had made a horrible mistake but I was pregnant by that time so I felt stuck. I still feel stuck. Many things have happened in the years that should have made me leave but I stay. My therapist is helping me become healthy enough mentally so I can finally be free. (4Tortugas)
Original by Sunny