You have a missed call … from him. Oh no! What are you going to do, girl? Don’t guilt yourself into an awkward conversation you don’t want to have. Before you touch that dial, does he deserve that return phone call? Or is he on this list …
- He called you late-night. Unless one of you works the night shift, why does he wait until it’s so late? Two words: no, thanks. You don’t owe him anything, not even a ring-ring.
- He stood you up. He should have had the decency to call you to cancel instead of leaving you hanging. If his voicemail doesn’t mention a hospital visit, he has no excuse. Trust me, I’ve been down this road before.
- He was drunk. Drunk dialing happens. Sometimes it can be a good thing, like when the person reminds you of their love even though they’re far away at a wedding with an open bar— um, yeah, I totally did that. But if it’s just random drunken rambling because he wants to crash at your place or something, that’s not cute. Besides, he probably won’t remember calling you, so you don’t have to remember to call him.
- Your gut tells you this guy is bad news. When has your gut lied to you? Chances are this guy actually has.
- He’s done it again. It’s not the first time he’s had to call to apologize for this. How many times are you going to listen to him pretending he’s sorry, promising he is not going to do it again? Show him it is going to take a lot more than a phone call to convince you.
- He slept with your sister or best friend. Talk is cheap and so is he. Hasn’t he already done enough?
- He has called you multiple times, despite your radio silence. Sheesh! He reeks of desperation, sure, but what you really don’t want to find out is why. Don’t even bother trying to call him back to blow him off. Clearly, he can’t take a hint.
- He only ever calls you when he has needs. Even if there’s charm involved, he just wants one thing. He’s already made it clear that’s is all he wants from you, so what’s there to discuss? Cut him off.
- You don’t want to talk to and/or see him again. Ever. You made this clear the last time you saw him, er, went running from him. Actions speak louder than words.
- He has a girlfriend or wife. Unless she’s been in a coma for six years or they’re polyamorous, do not go there. If he’s not happy, why doesn’t he just break up with her? What good can come from a man who lies and cheats on someone so close to him? Not to mention there’s always karma, and that is a bigger bitch than even the woman he claims he’s hiding from.
- He’s your ex. You broke up, and you don’t want to get back together. What’s there to talk about? Don’t let your mind or body get screwed by him again.
Original by Simcha