Everyone who’s having sex tends to want the same outcomes when it comes to improving things. They want better sex and more of it. And they don’t just want to enjoy it more themselves. They want to get better at pleasing their partners, as well, and that’s an excellent mindset to have.
But being better in bed isn’t just about learning better, newer techniques. It’s also about knowing what not to do when you’re in bed with someone. Here are a few sex mistakes so common, you’re likely still making them, as well as some tips on how to correct them.
Source: practicalintimacy.com
Contents
1. You treat solo sex like a last resort
Although it may seem counterproductive to tell you to masturbate more as a way to make sex with your partner better, this is genuinely not the case. People can (and should) continue to masturbate even when they have a sexual relationship with a partner. (Add a toy or two for some extra oomph. You can even play with your sex toys together as a couple.)
Masturbation gives you a chance to explore your body and stay up to date on how it truly likes to be stimulated. It also helps you develop your technique and build sexual confidence. So if you’re not doing it anymore because you think it’s just for single people, it’s officially time to get back to it. So order a toy or two from a place like CloudClimax.co.uk, and get to work.
Source: menshealth.com.au2. You wait for the mood to strike
A steady diet of rom-coms and unrealistic social expectations has everyone thinking that people – especially men – should be constantly and perpetually in the mood to have sex. But in reality, that’s just not how things are, even between people who have wonderful relationships and are super attracted to one another.
Arousal doesn’t just happen for most people. It takes effort and commitment, so stop waiting for it to just strike you (or your partner) out of the blue. Instead, deliberately feed your desire, as well as your partner’s.
Source: self.com3. You make orgasm the be-all and end-all
Orgasms are terrific, and no one’s arguing that. But over-focusing on them or seeing them as the only thing that can make a sexual encounter successful can take all the fun out of sex. If you’re not the person under pressure to give an orgasm, then you’re under pressure to have one, and neither of you needs that.
Instead, try simply enjoying the experience of being with your partner. Focus on how good everything feels and how much you love connecting with them. You can even have lots of fun playing around naked with your partner without having sex. Try getting playful in the shower or bathtub. Splashing around and getting each other wet can be naughty and fun, without any pressure to perform sexually. Give each other massages. A naked massage is not only incredibly relaxing, but can also be quite erotic. Just make sure to use plenty of lube or oil so your hands don’t get too dry! Have a naked photo shoot. Take turns taking tasteful (or naughty) photos of each other with your phones or camera. This is a great way to get creative and have some keepsakes of your own personal centerfold! You can even dance naked together. Whether you’re shaking your groove thing to music in the living room or getting busy in the bedroom, dancing naked is a great way to get physically close without having sex. Plus, it’s just plain fun! You can also take turns telling each other your fantasies and really get each other worked up.
You’re both not only more likely to have an orgasm, but you’ll enjoy yourselves more overall, as well.
Source: withjoy.com4. You never take things out of the bedroom
It makes natural sense that most couples have the majority of their sex in the bedroom, this is where all of your fun sex toys are after all. But you’re doing yourselves a disservice if you allow yourselves to think that’s somehow the one and only “correct” place to have sex. No, you don’t necessarily need to become the couple that does it on the kitchen table just to prove something to themselves, but you should definitely stop thinking of sex as something that only happens in a bed.
Start by finding little ways to be intimate with each other outside of your bedroom. Send each other the occasional sext or naughty selfie. Indulge in a little deep kissing or groping when you see each other at the end of the day or even just randomly when you pass in the hallway.
It’s not necessarily about having or initiating sex (although you can if you want to). It’s about staying passionately connected to each other all the time instead of keeping your sex drives switched to “off” anytime you’re not physically in bed together.
Source: thetrentonline.com5. You think it has to be penetrative to count as sex
If you think like this, you’re definitely not alone. But you also need to know that you’re seriously limiting your sexual potential by thinking of sex as the penetrative portion of an encounter and nothing else. That puts both you and your partner under tremendous pressure to be in the mood for that one specific thing if you want what you’re doing to “count” as sex.
Remember, the key to a healthy, happy, mutually satisfying sex life isn’t necessarily about mashing your genitals together more often. It’s about connecting to one another on a deeper level, both in and out of the bedroom. And don’t forget about foreplay. It can help couples feel more connected to each other by creating a deeper level of intimacy. When couples take the time to enjoy foreplay, it shows that they are interested in pleasuring each other and not just rushing toward orgasm. This can help couples feel more connected emotionally as well as physically. Foreplay can also help couples learn more about each other’s bodies and what turns them on. This knowledge can create even deeper levels of intimacy between partners.
So broaden your idea of what sex means to you.
At the end of the day, all you really need to do to have better, hotter, more frequent sex is to put your mind to it. It’s easier than you think. You just have to want it and commit to it.
