Sleep and Relationship: Tips on Choosing a Mattress for Couples with Different Preferences

Wendy Stokesby:


There might be things you and your loved one don’t agree on…

But when it comes to sleep, I’m sure you both realize:

It is crucial to have a good mattress – the one that would make the both of you happy.

But what if you and your partner want different things?

Don’t worry. Below are some tips on finding the best mattress for couples with different preferences. Once you know them, you will sleep happily ever after.

What Do You Need to Consider?

Before shopping, it’s probably a good idea to familiarize yourself with different types and models of mattresses. I mean, knowledge is power, right? You can find a ton of info about sleep and reviews of the models available now the market at HappySleepyHead. But save that for later.

First, you need to know the basic criteria that should be taken into account in the search for the best mattress for couples with different preferences. Here they are.


To sleep well, you need enough space to feel comfortable. Queen is the most popular size that can accommodate two adults easily. King is longer and perfect for taller couples. And Cal King is more suitable for couples that want more free space between them.


Now, you need to think about your (and your partner’s) sleeping positions. Different ones require a different amount of cushioning. For instance, side sleepers need softer beds, while stomach and back sleepers are advised to sleep on firmer surfaces for proper spinal support.

If you and your loved one have different sleeping positions, you can consider getting a mattress with dual firmness on two sides. Keep in mind that not all mattress companies offer such models, and those who do tend to sell them at higher prices.

“A quick tip: A cheaper alternative might be getting two different Twin beds and putting them next to each other on the Queen-sized foundation.”

Motion Transfer

This one is important if you or your partner wake up easily during the night when the other one starts tossing and turning. Good motion isolation will allow both of you to sleep peacefully on their side of the bed without being disturbed. Keep in mind that foam mattresses usually offer the best motion isolation.


All mattresses have a certain weight limit. And because you are going to share your bed with another person, you need to make sure that your mattress is suitable for your total weight. Typically, Queen beds have a 600-pound weight limit (but sometimes it can be more).

And it’s not only about the bed’s limits:

Your weight somewhat defines how your bed feels for you.

This means that when one partner is a lighter sleeper and another one is heavier, the same bed feels differently for both of you. So, this is where dual firmness mattresses are, again, a reasonable option.


This aspect contributes to your overall comfort and influences your spine health. Your bed must be supportive enough to hold you and your partner, plus keep your spines properly aligned.


Because there will be two people using the bed, it will need to support more weight, which might reduce the lifespan of the bed. Regular sex is another contributing factor. Therefore, you and your partner really need a reliable, durable mattress.

“A quick tip: You should definitely read other people’s reviews. This can help you see how the mattress you are considering serves other users and for how long it maintains its properties.”

Edge support 

When sharing a bed with a partner, you oftentimes need a wider sleeping area. That’s when edge support is important. Strong bed edges give you some extra space. Innerspring and hybrid mattresses usually perform better in this respect.


Responsiveness and bounciness are important for sex. You don’t want your mattress to make you feel stuck and absorb your movements, making you struggle with it instead of enjoying each other. A good mattress for sex has to maintain an even surface and allow you to move effortlessly. Innerspring and latex mattresses usually offer bouncy support, which makes them a better option for sex than, for example, foam ones.


A noisy mattress can disturb your partner when you toss and turn and even affect your sex life by adding those annoying squeaky sounds to your every move. It can also become an issue when you live with someone else (roommates or other family members, for example). In such cases, you need a mattress that doesn’t really make any sound (a foam one, for instance).


Today most mattresses are backed up with warranty, but the conditions are different from brand to brand. Cheaper beds usually come with a shorter warranty, which is only to be expected, while more expensive models protected with a lifetime warranty are typically made from quality materials to last you long.

“A quick tip: Note that whatever the warranty, there’s no such mattress that will serve you equally good for 15 or 20 years. Actually, experts recommend getting a new mattress every 5-8 years.”

Sleep trial 

For couples that have different preferences, a good sleep trial is always a plus. Why? Because you can test your new bed for a few nights (or even a whole year, depending on the company you buy from). And if you or your partner don’t feel comfortable enough, you can return it for a full refund. Testing and sleeping on a mattress is probably the best way to find something that can satisfy both of you.

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