The Tipping Point: How To Tip Like A Normal Person

Let’s talk about tipping. I am a terrible tipper. It’s not that I don’t tip — I so tip, and a lot. I probably actually tip way too much, because paying people for performing services for me makes me deeply uncomfortable. This is probably because I’m not really an adult or something, but I just feel so guilty that the shampoo girl is doing something for me that I do in the shower every day (okay, every other day) myself. Same goes for maid service at a hotel; I can make my own damn bed, so it seems incredibly ridiculous for somebody else to have to do it for me.

And then there’s beauty services. Some stuff — like, say, manicures and pedicures — don’t typically cost that much, so tipping a percentage doesn’t really seem right after somebody’s spent an intimate hour scraping the calluses off your feet. I will even tip at least 20 percent on so-so restaurant service, because I reason that sometimes people are just having a bad day. But again, I’m a neurotic person who basically feels guilty about everything. (By the way, I’m so sorry you have to read this.)

Which is why I felt like it was high time to figure out what the industry standards for these things are anyway. So, after the jump, what “experts” say you should tip, along with my (admittedly crazy) tipping recommendations. And don’t forget to share your tipping rules and regulations in the comments!

FOOD DELIVERY

• Tipping.org says: $1-$2 if short distance, $2-$3 for longer distances, and $5 or more for large deliveries.
• My advice: Take into account shitty weather and whether or not you live in an area with bike delivery or car delivery, because bike delivery can be a lot more harrowing. Don’t tip based on the cost amount of the food you ordered — whether your entree was $5 bucks or $20, it still required the same amount of effort on the part of the delivery dude.

FLOWER DELIVERY

• Tipping.org says: $2-$5 for flowers, up to $10 if it’s a large plant.
• My advice: Oh hi, I didn’t know you were supposed to tip the flower delivery guy. I’ll just be hanging my head in shame about that one.

HAIR SERVICES

• Fashionista says: 15-20 percent is typical, though sometimes customers will tip double or three times that.
• My advice: Depending on where you go, a haircut could cost $30 or $300. But a really good haircut? That’s priceless (I know this because of the depths of despair I’ve sunk into from bad cuts). So don’t scrimp on thanking your stylist for a job well done. And don’t forget the shampoo girl, too! Typically, $5-$10 is standard.

HOTEL BELLHOPS AND MAIDS

• Emily Post Institute says: For bellhops, $2 per bag. For maids, $2-$5 per day (and make sure that you designate that it’s for housekeeping).
• My advice: I have never ever used a bellhop because I feel to guilty making somebody else carry my shit. As for maids, take into account how disgusting and messy you are. If not so much, you can tip less, but if you destroyed the place, tip more.

MANICURE/PEDICURE

• Fashionista recommends: 20 percent, because typically manicure prices are so low.
• My advice: Manicure and pedicure pricing typically doesn’t reflect the amount of time, energy and skill that goes into making sure your pinkies look beautimous. I mean, I’ve had great $6 manicures, people. As such, I always, always tip at least around $8 to $10 for a mani, and more if it’s a combo mani-pedi deal.

MASSAGE THERAPISTS

• Tipping.org says: We’re talking not-a-happy-ending massage here (side note: I wonder what the tipping policies on those are). According to industry professionals, 10 percent is standard, and 20 percent if you really, really enjoyed it.
• My advice: That seems about right.

PET GROOMING

• Tipping.org says: 15 percent or at least $2 per dog.
• My advice: You know if your dog or cat is a total bastard. If your cat has a propensity for scratching and spraying, maybe throw in a couple extra bucks.

SPRAY TAN

• Fashionista recommends: 20 percent.
• My advice: I have never spray-tanned, but owing to the fact that your spray-tanner sees you naked-ish, maybe tip them a bit more?

WAXING & FACIALS

Original by Julie Gerstein