First, the truth is there is no secret, sure-fire formula for finding a long-term romantic relationship. But, there’s a huge caveat to that warning, and it is possible to take specific actions that can increase the chances of finding a life mate. In a way, the situation is like getting a college education. A four-year diploma in engineering, for example, is not a solid guarantee that you will find a job in the field. But, without the degree, your chances of doing so are essentially nil. With diploma in hand, and a can-do attitude, there’s a super-high probability you’ll secure a rewarding engineering job relatively soon after graduation.
So, start your search for a life partner (assuming you want one) by doing an honest self-evaluation, making no excuses for any of your shortcomings. Write down the areas in which you think you need to help. Realize that it is possible to overcome bad habits and that the notion of you just want to be yourself is usually a cop out, a way to avoid the hard work of self-improvement. Doing nothing to change your current situation sends the social signal to others that you really just don’t care about yourself. Others will be glad to return the sentiment by not caring for you, which makes an LTR (long-term relationship) virtually impossible. So, begin by making your brutally honest list of what you believe are your pluses and minuses. Then, check the list below and get busy transforming yourself into someone who others just might be attracted to.
Make a Plan
Every successful quest begins with a detailed plan. Study the list you already made and focus on what needs to be done. Write one or two sentences that describe what you intend to do to overcome the negative points on your personal evaluation sheet. Then, review the following points on education, social media, volunteering, and more to get concrete ideas about how to make yourself as marketable as possible.
Get an Education
Getting an education, and paying for it, accomplishes two key steps at the same time. First, it ups your lifetime earnings potential and, second, it makes you more marketable on the relationship market. If you scoff at the idea of there being such a market, spend five minutes perusing online dating websites. Millions of eager single people pay good money to join sites whose sole objective is to match them up with romantic partners. So, how to pay for a college or graduate degree? These days, the smartest route is to take out a student loan from a private lender. To find out about the specific steps for filling out a quick online application, you can begin by clicking here to find out the essential facts.
Don’t Rely on Social Media
Social media and the dating sites have their purposes, but they tend to do a better job with short-term connections rather than lifelong partnerships. Plus, it’s far too easy to get into a rut of spending hours of valuable time scanning profiles and interacting in ways that are completely impersonal. Instead, aim to use your precious free time making real, in-person connections with people who are likely to be looking for serious relationships, not quickie hookups.
Do Volunteer Work
When you do good things for others, the universal laws of reciprocity have a way of bringing good things into your life. Many couples meet while donating their time to the same volunteer organization. For starters, while putting in time at a food bank, for example, you automatically have several things in common with the people you meet there. For instance, they have many of the same values, beliefs, and views as you have. They believe in the importance of helping the less fortunate, and often make ideal romantic partners and marriage candidates.
Go to Church, Any Church
Some people balk at using church membership as a way to meet future spouses, but of all the techniques for doing so, it’s probably the oldest and most successful of all. In all honesty, many young people remain connected with church groups in order to meet like-minded potential partners. Don’t feel the need to join a church just for this reason, but if you grew up with a faith tradition, consider keeping the connection alive and leveraging the power of having a built-in group of friends to network with.
Take Care of Your Health
Whether you like it or not, smoking and excessive alcohol use are instant relationship killers. Start by dealing with those two factors if they apply to you, and then move on to keeping an eye on your general health. Get regular medical checkups, exercise according to what you doctor says is acceptable for your age and condition, and pay attention to signs and symptoms of major illness. When you attend to your physical health and fitness, others notice, and you become a more attractive prospect in the LTR marketplace.
Get Your Financial Life in Order
Ask yourself would you want to marry someone who was in financial trouble with plenty of high-interest credit card debt? Then, set out to put your own financial house in order by paying down debt, building a sound retirement plan, focusing on career advancement, and being responsible about budgeting your monthly income. Don’t even consider entering into a marriage, or any kind of LTR, when you have money problems.
Look Your Best
Appearance matters, and it’s not just superficial. In fact, how you dress and maintain your outer appearance says much about how you value your body and public image. If you don’t care about your social image, that’s fine, but don’t expect to attract many long-term romantic partners. For example, if you have a breath problem, are out of shape, and rarely wash your hair, be glad that you have plenty of room for easy, quick improvement. But be honest and realize that unkempt people rarely attract positive attention from others. Put the shoe on the other foot and ask do you want to find a long-term romantic partner who is unhealthy, rude, slovenly, unemployed, and doesn’t care about how they look?