We Asked, You Answered: What You Would Do If You Were The Opposite Sex For A Day

Wendy Stokesby:


Last week, I posed to you an interesting question of dire importance: If you had the chance to be the opposite sex for a day, what would you do with your time? Clearly, I am not the only one who lies awake at night pondering this fantasy, because y’all answered in droves. After the jump, to-do lists for Men-For-A-Day and Women-For-A-Day, as well as some of the funniest and most clever reader answers.

Female To-Do List

  1. Pee everywhere.
  2. Stick penis in various substances.
  3. Have sex.
  4. Try to understand “guy stuff” like car engines.
  5. Get a blow job.
  6. Play with balls.
  7. Cat call and/or obnoxiously hit on women.
  8. Get kicked in the balls.
  9. Get in a fight.
  10. Masturbate

Male To-Do List

  1. Have sex.
  2. Play with breasts.
  3. Cry to get out of a ticket.
  4. Manipulate to get free drinks.
  5. Stare at body in the mirror for hours.
  6. Throw drinks at douchebags.
  7. Use sex toys.
  8. Walk around in thong/high heels.
  9. Hang out in a women’s locker room.
  10. Enter an amateur strip context.

Besides the obvious, pee/sex/bj stuff – because I’d do all those for hours – I’d actually want to go for a swim. I’d be curious how much stronger I’d feel. – hlnbabe

If I were a girl I would double click the mouse as much as possible, and then if that got old I would go see what I could learn from the first lesbian/bisexual women that would have me! Oh and I would see if my poop actually does smell like roses, because that’s what I think it smells like now coming out of girls, and since none of them do it when guys are around this is the only chance I would get to find out. – bagge72

I would do pull ups for fun. And lift heavy things. Also clean my top cupboards which I can only get to by scrambling on the counters. I’m assuming of course that I would be a taller man then my current little self. I would also go to a bar and hit on girls that look sad. – quimper4

I’d like to get kicked in the balls to see if it hurts more than childbirth. – belligerentjane

Try all kind of different beard styles, removing one bit every hour or so … look at a diagram of a car engine and see if I understand it … say a witty yet slightly offensive compliment to a girl so I get slapped on the face. – Lilien

I would: roll out of bed 15 minutes before I had to be wherever was on the agenda for the day (5 minute shower, brush my teeth, throw some product in my still wet hair), throw on some clothing that was on top of the “clean pile” (sniff test), find two matching socks – and shoes, and go out the door. – luciddefect

I would stick my penis EVERYWHERE. In peanut butter, in sour cream, in a warm apple pie, in a vagina and in someones mouth (just a few of the many possibilities). – Zil

I would probably be far too fascinated investigating every aspect of how I think and feel, experiencing the female mind from the inside, seeing exactly how and if it varies so much. The body and its capabilities seem incredibly trivial in comparison, and it’s the mind which captivates me. Given just a day, I very much doubt that I would get past that stage. – Singularity

I’d try to find out what multiple orgasms (or even one) felt like as a woman, and I’d read one of Jessica’s columns without feeling attacked. – _jsw_

If I had sex while being a man for a day, would I then be obilgated to add her to my ‘number’?? – Vavie

I’d spend what time I had left over after I’d peed everywhere and had sex with everything riding the lawn tractor around the yard and driving that little remote control car. The peeing while upright, the blow jobs, the sex, I get that. I’m still trying to figure out the appeal of the other two things. Oh yeah, after that I’m going to crawl down into the creepiest part of the basement when it gets too dark to drive the tractor or the RC car. Those MF spiders are toast. – Lady MacBeth

I would run! Run like the wind! Just to see if things get stuck or whipped around down there. Especially on a hot sticky day. I would dance. Basically anything involving a lot of movement. – Namaste

Oh man I talk about this all the time. The very first thing I would do would be to pee out a moving car window. I’ve always wanted to. Most of my day would revolve around urinating in various ways. — theattack

Get out of things by crying; i.e. speeding ticket, large screw-up at work, a restaurant bill. Play with myself, as if I don’t do that enough as a guy. Taze a creepy guy at a bar; nobody liked his popped collar or supergel anyway. Switch back to a man before the period, I’ll take your word that it sucks. — Riley

I would first and foremost play with myself in front of a mirror. I think that would be the thing most guys do first, see themselves naked. I’d then get dressed up really sexy and hit the town. I’d put a thong on just to see how it felt. I’d wear heels to see how they felt. After about a block, when I turn around and go change, I’d use my womanly skills to manipulate people (i.e. free drinks). I’d probably try to have sex just to see how it felt. I’d be little spoon afterwards. But that’d only last for about 10 minutes before I kicked the guy out so I could go to amateur night at the strip club and try and make as much money as possible. I’d then retire the night with some more masturbation. – Mainer

Punch a shark in the nose … NOT menstruate … walk across campus at night by myself … go backpacking and poop in the woods. – haleylovesfrance

If my wife & I could change genders long enough to experience a sex encounter with each other, then I’d break down and give her a BJ, so she can FINALLY understand why getting one is of such importance to me!!! — Evil Monkey

Three words, Naked crime spree. I’m sure I could evade the police for one day. And i’m not talking petty crimes either. – alvis_hamilton

Helicopter, definitely. I’d also want to put my penis on EVERYTHING, and probably take pictures of it. — MissAlyx

Original by Amelia McDonell-Parry @xoamelia

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