Most couples get to the stage in their relationship where the sex stops. You can then find yourself in a sex standoff because neither of you wants to make the first move, and you have simply got comfortable in your no-sex relationship. But, how did you get to this place to begin with? Let’s take a look at some of the common reasons why couples stop having sex, as well as some suggestions regarding what you can do if you find yourself in this position.
1. You and your partner are a sexual mismatch
One of the most common reasons for partners to stop having sex is because they are on different levels with regards to frequency of intercourse. It is not so much the difference in sexual tastes that matters; it is more to do with how often each of you wants to have sex. If you are someone who doesn’t want sex regularly, yet your partner is the type of person that wants to have sex every other day, he or she may stop trying because they wonder whether you are interested in them in that way at all. So, how do you fix it? You should consider scheduling. No, this doesn’t mean that you say to your partner “Friday, 7 pm, we will have sex.” However, you can set some time whereby you just focus on one and other. Sex does not have to be the end goal. You could simply kiss or cuddle, yet you will often find that this will lead to sex in the end. Even if it doesn’t, it will bring you closer in this way. If you are struggling to get the drive you need for sex or you feel like you cannot perform, nature-tricks.com is a great website that has a lot of different resources on various products for increasing libido and how you can make healthy changes in your life that could result in positive improvements when it comes to the bedroom.
2. You have an ‘embarrassing’ problem
You will notice the word embarrassing is in inverted commas – this is because you are probably the only person that finds it embarrassing. This could be anything from struggling in the bedroom, to a lack of sex drive, to a lump you have found down below. No matter what it is, if you cannot talk to your partner about it, the best thing to do is see a health professional. You can find out more information about this online. After all, you should never take a risk with your health, and you have nothing to be worried or anxious about. Whatever you are experiencing, it is not embarrassing! It is probably incredibly common and can be fixed with a simple visit to a specialist healthcare professional.
Stress is one of the biggest sex killers there is! Plus, when you consider just how fast-paced life is today, and the fact that work commitments seem to be taking over, it is not hard to see why we are feeling stressed more and more frequently. It is likely that sex is simply not a priority in your life anymore because you have so many other things to concern yourself with, for example, childcare and different shifts at work. Let’s be frank; sex can be a lot of work. This is especially the case for women who may feel like they need to do lots of prep beforehand in terms of shaving their legs, fake tanning, and anything else that is part of their beautifying routine. It can seem like it is simply not worth the effort. Not only this, but a lot of people take antidepressant medications to cope with the stress they are experiencing, and this is another massive bedroom buzz kill. There is plenty of research that shows that antidepressant medication like this can make many different types of sexual dysfunction get worse, from emotional blunting and the inability to climax, as well as fading libido. If you are taking any type of medication, it is worth finding out whether a lowered sex drive is one of the common side effects.
4. Your children get in the way
This is probably something that all parents can relate to. Once you start having children, any libido you had left is squashed. Not only do you have the hassle of having to find a moment to yourself, but there is also the stresses and strains that come with being a parent. General exhaustion and breastfeeding can further deplete your desire to engage in sexual intercourse. There was a study conducted by Laumann, which revealed a lot about women and their desire for sex. For women in their 20’s with children under the age of six-years-old, more than 95 per cent of those surveyed stated that they had no interest in sex. For women without children, this figure only amount to 34 per cent, so you can really see how having kids has a negative impact on sex drive. There is no easy fix for this. After all, you can’t go back to the days without kids – nor would you want to! However, you should try to schedule some time for you and your partner only. Ask your parents if they would look after your children for a weekend so you and your partner can get away and spend some time together, for example.
As you can see, there are many different reasons why couples get to the stage whereby they do not have sex anymore. The most important thing to recognise is that you aren’t the only couple in the world that find yourself at the stage where your only bedroom activity is sleeping. However, by recognising why you’ve ended up in a no-sex relationship, you should be able to rectify it so you can get your love life back on track again.