• About Us
  • Contact Us
  • Latest
  • Terms and Conditions
  • Privacy Policy
The Frisky
  • Home
  • News
  • Health
  • Celebs
  • Movies
  • Love
  • Relationships
  • Style
  • Entertainment
  • Parenting
  • Royals
  • Travel
Entertainment

10 Reasons I Always Have A Crush On My Mailman

by Billy Antonio September 10, 2018
by Billy Antonio September 10, 2018
2.3K

I moved last month, which means a new apartment, a new neighborhood, and most importantly, a new mailman, whom I already have a huge crush on. He’s, like, a totally Portland-y bearded hipster mailman, and my office window affords me an excellent view of a few blocks of his route, which leads me to text my best friend whenever he walks by (her reply is always the same: “I still can’t tell if this is a joke.”). As strange as it may sound, this isn’t the first time I’ve had a crush on a civil servant in blue polyester. Here are 10 reasons why I can’t resist a mailman …

1. He’s got great legs. Thanks to all that walking, mail carriers have some of the best leg muscles in the game. And those USPS shorts are perfect for showing them off.

2. He knows all my secrets. People order things through the mail that they’re too embarrassed to buy in real life. My mailman knows this. He has handed these things to me or left them on the porch when I’m too scared to open the door. One time in college, I was really depressed and I bought a Tom Jones Greatest Hits CD and commemorative poster set from an infomercial. Guess who delivered it to me, no judgment? That’s right. My mailman.

3. He has a surprising amount of power over my emotions. Even though I don’t ever really get the chance to interact with my mailman, he has the power to make or break my day. Will my new oxfords finally arrive? Will my paycheck be late? On any given day, his mail bag may contain joy, excitement, sadness, or heartbreak.

4. He’s dedicated. Rain? Whatever. Sleet? Who cares. Snow? No problem. He’ll be out there delivering mail, wearing his USPS poncho like a champ.

5. He knows just what I need. Sometimes when I’m having a rough day and working too hard, a couple magazines and a coupon for Thai food will drop through my mail slot, and I’ll think, “Damn, this guy gets me.”

6. He’s a man in uniform. I’m totally into uniforms but not so much into guns. Mailmen–armed only with a satchel of letters, dog biscuits, and stoic diligence–are the perfect middle ground.

7. Speaking of the uniform, it’s strangely alluring, isn’t it? I’ve already mentioned the shorts and poncho, but there’s also the trousers with the tuxedo stripe down the side, the prominent USPS patches, the stiff hats and orthopedic shoes. I love it all.

8. He’s a living, breathing testament to the greatness of the Postal Service. My love for mailmen (and mailwomen too!) is tied to my deep love and admiration for the US Postal Service. Sometimes I think about this vast network of people, planes, trains, and trucks that is able to deliver bulky packages and little slips of paper to every corner of the country and I get kind of emotional. I know it loses billions of dollars a year but still–the Postal Service is badass.

9. He’s introspective. OK, I actually have no proof of this, but according to my complex and detailed mailman fantasy, my mailman walks around all day dropping letters into mail slots while contemplating deep philosophical questions and pondering the best ways to achieve self-actualization. The nature of his work has given him not only fabulous legs but also a heightened consciousness. Hot.

10. He’s a purveyor of a dying art form. Very few people write letters anymore. In fact, most days my mailman seems to be carrying nothing more than credit card bills and Netflix DVDs. But still, the fact that he’s out there every day, giving us a way to send a handwritten note, just in case any of us ever feels like it, is awesome.

Original by Winona Dimeo-Ediger

crusheslovemailmenTop Tenusps
Billy Antonio

previous post
In Bed With … Alexander Skarsgard
next post
8 Crappy Ways A Masturbation Session Can Be Interrupted

Related Posts

Celebrating Love: 9 Valentine’s Day Gift Ideas for...

March 3, 2025

Is Following Every Desire Beneficial? Experts Weigh In

May 9, 2024

14 Ways of Showing Love for Your Parents...

October 3, 2023

Categories

  • Accessories
  • Animals
  • Anime
  • Art
  • Astrology
  • Beard Care
  • Beauty
  • Betting
  • Biography
  • Blog
  • Business
  • Buying Guides
  • Cannabis
  • Cars
  • Casino
  • CBD
  • Celebs
  • Children
  • Citizenship
  • Clippers
  • Clothes
  • Computer
  • Couple Time
  • COVID-19
  • Crime
  • Crypto
  • Culture
  • Design
  • DIY
  • Economics
  • Education
  • Entertainment
  • Environment
  • Family
  • Fashion
  • Featured
  • Food
  • Food & Drink
  • Furniture
  • Galleries
  • Gambling
  • Games
  • Gardening
  • Gifts
  • Girl
  • Gossip
  • Guide
  • Guys
  • Hair
  • Hair Care Tips
  • Hair Dryers
  • Hair loss
  • Hairstyles
  • Health
  • Highlights
  • History
  • Hobby
  • Home
  • Horoscopes
  • Hot Rollers
  • How to …
  • Industry
  • Internet
  • Interview
  • Law
  • Legal Advice
  • Life
  • Lifestyle
  • Love & Sex
  • Love Your Self
  • Makeup
  • Marketing
  • Medicine
  • Mind & Body
  • Money
  • Motorcycle
  • Movies
  • Moving
  • Music
  • Nails
  • Net Worth
  • News
  • Parenting
  • People
  • Pets
  • Photography
  • Products for Hair
  • Real Estate
  • Recipes
  • Relationships
  • Religion
  • Royals
  • SEO
  • Shopping
  • Skincare
  • Sports
  • Studying
  • Style
  • Super Stars
  • Tech
  • Technology
  • The Body
  • Tips
  • Tips & Tricks
  • Tools
  • Toys
  • Travel
  • Type
  • Uncategorized
  • Vape
  • Vehicle
  • Video
  • VR
  • Wedding
Footer Logo
  • About Us
  • Contact Us
  • Latest
  • Terms and Conditions
  • Privacy Policy

© 2024 - All Right Reserved.

TheFrisky.com is a participant in the Amazon Services LLC Associates Program, an affiliate advertising program designed to provide a means for sites to earn advertising fees by advertising and linking to Amazon.com. Amazon, the Amazon logo, AmazonSupply, and the AmazonSupply logo are trademarks of Amazon.com, Inc. or its affiliates.

We at TheFrisky participate in various affiliate marketing programs, which means we may earn commissions on products or services that we recommend or promote through our website. When you click on a link to purchase a product or service that we have recommended or promoted, we may earn a commission from the sale. This commission helps us maintain and improve our website and provide you with valuable information and resources.

The Frisky
  • Home
  • News
  • Health
  • Celebs
  • Movies
  • Love
  • Relationships
  • Style
  • Entertainment
  • Parenting
  • Royals
  • Travel
The Frisky
  • Home
  • News
  • Health
  • Celebs
  • Movies
  • Love
  • Relationships
  • Style
  • Entertainment
  • Parenting
  • Royals
  • Travel
© 2024 - All Right Reserved.

TheFrisky.com is a participant in the Amazon Services LLC Associates Program, an affiliate advertising program designed to provide a means for sites to earn advertising fees by advertising and linking to Amazon.com. Amazon, the Amazon logo, AmazonSupply, and the AmazonSupply logo are trademarks of Amazon.com, Inc. or its affiliates.

We at TheFrisky participate in various affiliate marketing programs, which means we may earn commissions on products or services that we recommend or promote through our website. When you click on a link to purchase a product or service that we have recommended or promoted, we may earn a commission from the sale. This commission helps us maintain and improve our website and provide you with valuable information and resources.
We use cookies to ensure that we give you the best experience on our website. If you continue to use this site we will assume that you are happy with it.OkNoPrivacy policy

Terms and Conditions - Privacy Policy