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13 Of Worst Things You Can Do To Your Vagina (NSFW)

by The Frisky April 23, 2012
by The Frisky April 23, 2012

Well, this is one way to honor Queen Elizabeth’s 60th anniversary on the throne. Vajazzling is bad, but Majazzling is worse. UK website LoveHoney.com is offering this limited edition “Majazzle” package to make sure our ladyparts are ready for the momentous occasion. Yes, “Majazzle” is the word that happens when vajazzle and her Majesty come together. I’m sure the Queen would be grateful if you put a crown on your vagina in her honor. Click on through to see some more of the worst things you can do to your vagina.

Contents

  • Put An Animal Merkin On It
  • Dress It In A Tuxedo
  • Vattoo It
  • Turn It Into Willie Nelson
  • Put Makeup On It
  • Make It Into A Dessert
  • Use A Deodorant Suppository
  • Put A Clown Wig On It
  • Apply Googley Eyes To It
  • Bleach It
  • Feed It A Breath Mint
  • Make It Into A Monster

Put An Animal Merkin On It

Source: thefrisky

Completely Bare owner Cindy Barshop recently introduced two new lines of luxury pubic wigs: One where you replace your actual pubic hair with fox fur and the other where your vagina is adorned with brightly colored feathers. “Feathers aren’t just for birds anymore … they’re also perfect for vaginas,” Cindy said. Nope. Not true.

Dress It In A Tuxedo

Source: thefrisky

This is not what your vagina should wear to a black tie event. Or ever.

Vattoo It

Source: thefrisky

This is basically like getting your vagina spray painted. But why?

Turn It Into Willie Nelson

Source: thefrisky

This is an example of vattooing at its worst. I mean, even if your vagina has the temperament of a really laid back country dude, this is not the way to go.

Put Makeup On It

Source: thefrisky

Sometimes, before we would go out to dinner, my mom used to tell me to “put some color on my lips.” This is not what she meant. My New Pink Button is a “genital cosmetic colorant” for your other lips. So your vag is ready for her closeup?

Make It Into A Dessert

Source: thefrisky

I’m pretty sure your vagina is not meant to be covered in rainbow sprinkles.

Use A Deodorant Suppository

Source: thefrisky

There’s a bigger issue at play if you feel the need to insert Island Escape deodorant suppository up in there in every day. A vagina is not an armpit.

Put A Clown Wig On It

Source: thefrisky

Bozo the vagina loves to make people laugh.

Apply Googley Eyes To It

Source: thefrisky

Combine these eyes with the clown wig and your vagina is ready to join the circus.

Bleach It

Source: thefrisky

The white secret is: Unless you’re sleeping with Jack Nicholson, vaginal bleaching is totally unnecessary.

Feed It A Breath Mint

Source: thefrisky

Linger is a line of breath mints you can insert into your vagina. So here’s my thought on that: Either your vagina smells like a vagina and you should let it go about its business OR your vagina smells funky and you should go to the doctor. No vagi-mints necessary.

Make It Into A Monster

Source: thefrisky

This has the world’s scariest vagina. All who visit this love tunnel don’t return alive. Bwahahaha!

Original by: Ami Angelowicz

majazzlingmerkinsSexvaginasvajazzlingvattooing
The Frisky

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TheFrisky.com is a participant in the Amazon Services LLC Associates Program, an affiliate advertising program designed to provide a means for sites to earn advertising fees by advertising and linking to Amazon.com. Amazon, the Amazon logo, AmazonSupply, and the AmazonSupply logo are trademarks of Amazon.com, Inc. or its affiliates.