Flame-haired Shirley Manson from the band Garbage described her first time thusly:
“I was 15 and it was with an older man I was absolutely besotted with, so I was very willing. Unfortunately, it was a nothing experience, in his friend’s super low-fi bachelor pad with dirty pants and half-eaten bowls of cereal around the bed. It lasted 40 seconds. And I remember the words ‘Is that it?’ spinning around my head, cos, if that’s what it’s all about, someone has been telling me fibs.”
Marilyn Manson wrote about his first time ever (with a girl named Tina) in The Long Road Out Of Hell:
We sat down on the side of a hill. Instantly, we began making out, and within minutes I had my hand down her pants. The first thing that went through my mind was how hairy she was. Maybe she didn’t have a mother to teach her about shaving her bikini line … Just the thrill of penetration was enough to make me orgasm, and before I was even in all the way, it was over. It was literally pump and dump.
Celine Dion‘s first time was naturally with her much older manager-turned-hubby, René Angélil., who she says she pursued sexually. She wrote in My Story, My Dream:
It was in Dublin, on that unforgettable day of April 30, 1988, the evening of the Eurovision competition … He went back to my room with me … I was seated at the head of the bed, legs folded under the covers. I was happy about being alone with the man I loved. And I had a very precise plan.
I took his head in my hands and I kissed him on the lips. I put my arms around his neck … He held me tight, the door still open behind him. Then he removed my arms. He fled to his room. I stayed there for a moment all alone, my heart beating — trembling and dumbfounded. I knew that I’d won. The flight was an admission of it.
I grabbed the telephone and called his room to tell him: “If you don’t come back here immediately, I’m going to knock on your door.” But there was no answer.
It was he who called me several minutes later from the lobby of the hotel. To ask if I was all right. And then he told me: “If you really want to, I’ll be the first.” And I answered him: “You’ll be the first. And the only.”
All my feminine charms, all the sex appeal I have for men I invested in my conquest of René Angélil.
Kathie Lee Gifford
Poor Kathie Lee! After waiting until age 22 to finally have sex, she gave it up to her first husband on their wedding night and the experience was less than awesome. She wrote in her autobiography, I Can’t Believe I Said That!:
I’m sorry, but anyone who’s instantly relaxed with being naked in front of somebody for the first time and having someone explore intimate parts of the body is either lying about being relaxed — or lying about it being the first time. Believe me, I was neither lying nor relaxed. I just don’t think that kind of thing comes naturally to most people. Not in the world I came out of. In fact, I believe the only male sex organ I had actually seen by the age of twenty-two was the one that was attached to Zorro, the family dog. As far as I knew, they were all like that.
But [I had] some raging hormones going. I mean I was ready! My lifelong self-consciousness about my body seemed, miraculously, to fade right away … let me tell you, I really did look divine. Relaxed? Forget it! It was, like, yabba dabba doo! I lost every inhibition I’d ever had. It was time for candles and romance, time to boogie and swing from the chandeliers.
And yet we just couldn’t seem to get relaxed with each other. It saddens me to think about it now. We were so uncomfortable with each other, and I felt responsible and disappointed for both of us. I spent the first night of my married life sobbing my eyes out, feeling we had just made the biggest mistake of our lives.
“I think I would have had sex a lot earlier! I think I would have lost my virginity earlier than I did at 22. I had the public and all this pressure, and I wish I had just gotten it over with in the beginning when it was sort of OK. I think I would have been much more in touch with myself. I think I wouldn’t have had issues with weight—I carried this protective 20 pounds [in college]. It was all connected. And to me, that’s a health regret.”