Feel Sexy, Even When Your Tampon Is Leaking

So, yesterday, I ruined what I estimate to be my 57th pair of panties and stained a perfectly good pair of pajama bottoms when my tampon had a major leak. It was not a very sexy moment. But it could have been, if I had only been wearing a pair of Sexy Period panties! These very real, very purchasable undergarments are sold with three absorbent, leak-resistant layers built in, that way, if your ‘pon leaks, the spill will be soaked up by the crotch fabric. No ruined clothing! No public embarrassment! Just a super sexy bloody mess in your pants that’s your little secret.

Sexy Period panties come in three styles (cheeky, hipster, and bikini) and colors—Friday NIght Fabulous (black), Blossoming Beauty (purple, with watercolor floral), and Simply Stunning (purple)—but the inner fabric is always black so the stains never show. That way, even if Aunt Flo has gone rogue, “you can still give off that every-girl-is-dying-to-be-you vibe.”

In all seriousness, I think undies that serve as backup protection when you’ve got your period is actually kind of genius idea—in fact, I am seriously jealous I didn’t think of it—I just think the name is stupid. Some things are not meant to be sexy—like sitting in a pool of your own menstrual blood.