There’s avideo from my favorite series, Tales of a Mere Existence, called “Things I Have Worried About” (watch it after the jump). I’m at once sad that these fears are so familiar (well, with the exception of the ones about “not getting it up”) and comforted that I’m not alone in my needless worries. In an effort to shed some of the burden of the fears I carry around (some all the time, some only every once in awhile), I’d like to share a few with you. Maybe you’ll relate. Maybe you’ll just think I’m a neurotic mess (you wouldn’t be entirely wrong). After the jump, my 20 biggest (and silliest) personal worries.
My 20 Biggest Worries
- Something horrible will happen to my husband.
- I’ll fart loudly in yoga class.
- I won’t be able to get pregnant when we decide we’re ready for kids.
- Or, if I do, the baby won’t be healthy.
- My dress will flip up while I’m dancing and everyone will see my Spanx (this happened at a wedding over the weekend).
- I’ll get diabetes like just about everyone else in my family and won’t be able to eat cupcakes anymore.
- I’ll get stuck in an elevator.
- My plane will crash.
- My hair stylist will accidentally cut off all my hair.
- One day I’ll get Alzheimer’s and lose my memory.
- One of my parents will get Alzheimer’s and forget who I am.
- My kids will be embarrassed of me.
- My cats may suffer in old age one day and I’ll have to put them down (sob!).
- I’ll lose my job (say it won’t happen, Amelia!). [Just don’t piss me off.—Editor]
- My husband will lose his job.
- We’ll never have enough money to retire.
- The boogie man will follow me home from the subway late at night.
- I’ll cause an accident in which innocent people are harmed.
- I’ll go on vacation and get lost and never find my way back home.
- Wrinkles.
What are some of your personal worries?
Original by Wendy Atterberry
