I’m concerned for the future of oral sex, folks. A few unflattering news items are threatening to make our favorite pastime a thing of the past. What a tragedy that would be. After the jump, the latest bad news about oral. We’re sorry, old friend.
- According to a new study done at the University of Kentucky, only 20 percent of teens consider oral sex actual “sex.” Most of the teens surveyed put oral sex in the same category as “deep kissing.” Right, because they are so similar. In a study done in 1991, 40 percent of teens surveyed considered oral sex actual “sex.” You know what that means? Perhaps Bill Clinton’s little rendezvous with Monica Lewinsky confused the hell out of young people.
- A new throat spray, called “Comfortably Numb,” seems to imply that BJs are something women would be uncomfortable with. Now women can lube up their throats with this spearmint flavored spray and pretend like there isn’t really a penis in their mouth. No more gagging—and it also doubles as a breath freshener! Sounds really fulfilling and romantic for all.
- In case you weren’t turned off enough already, you should know that The British Medical Journal recently reported that oral sex may be playing a role in the sudden rise in HPV-related head and neck cancers in young people. So the more you do it, the more likely you are to get cancer. Woo-hoo!
Original by: Ami Angelowicz