Dear Guys: You are awesome, and the ladies of The Frisky love you, but sometimes when it comes to dating, you forget that the first date is where you get to make your key first impression on us, and when it comes to your fashion choices … well, some of them are questionable. Therefore, we have created a helpful guide revealing what you really! shouldn’t! wear! on! a! first! date! Unless you want it to be our last. Check out the big no-nos after the jump.1. A bow tie. Unless you’re a male librarian.
2. A tuxedo. Unless this is a black-tie affair.
3. Women’s underpants. Unless you’re sure we’re down for that.
4. A condom. Unless you’re really that cocky.
5. Floods. Unless it’s Halloween and you’re dressed as Bill Gates.
6. Mandals. Unless you live in Hawaii.
7. Shorts. See 6.
8. A toupee. You should never wear a toupee, period.
9. Makeup. Unless you’re a girl in drag.
10. Self-tanner. Unless your name is Paulie.
11. A vest. Unless … there is no unless on this one.
12. A sleeveless shirt. Unless you want to share your armpit hair with us.
13. Skinny jeans. Unless you’re in a band.
14. Dirty clothes. Unless you fell down on way to said date.
15. Super baggy jeans. Unless you’re in high school, in which case, why are we on a date?
16. A team jersey. Unless you’re on the team.
17. An Ed Hardy baseball cap. Unless you want this to go poorly.
18. A wifebeater. Unless … unless .. unless never.
19. Something your ex gave you. Unless you are a widower.
20. Anything hemp. Unless we’re hippies.
21. Too much cologne. Unless you are hard of smelling.
22. A kilt. Wait, actually that might be funny.
23. Lifts. Unless you’re under 5′.
24. A gold chain. Unless you’re from Italy.
25. Bifocals. Unless we are old.
26. A goatee. THE GOATEE IS OVER, FOR THE LOVE OF GOD.
27. A diamond grill. Unless your name is Kanye.
28. A cape. Unless you’re a superhero.
29. Over-waxed brows. Unless you were the victim of a terrible salon accident.
30. An ascot. Unless you’re bringing your yacht.
Original by Susannah Breslin
