As women, we’ve been programmed to think if we sleep with a guy on the first date, the relationship will never become serious. But we all know couples who went home together the first night and ended up married. So what gives?
In my opinion, it depends on two things: (1) Is the guy looking for a relationship? (2) And if so, would he have a relationship with a woman who would sleep with a guy on the first date?
So, when should you take the chance? If you find yourself in any of the following four situations, you just might want to go for it!
1. You’ve been friends for a while and want the same things from the relationship. Even though it’s only the first official date, you know each other well and have a pretty good idea of what you can expect from the growing relationship. Besides that, the sexual tension must be killing both of you!
2. You don’t open up easily. If you’re looking for a serious relationship and follow all the dating “rules” of waiting to have sex, you might find yourself having to open up emotionally during the early dates. By having sex early on, you would offer a fun distraction from the emotional intimacy. The only caveat here is the emotional intimacy might never develop. In that case you’ll either end up in a relationship without serious commitments, or moving forward in a relationship without a true bond. Relationships of Convenience [EXPERT]
3. You need to get over an ex. You’re in no place to start something serious with anyone because you still need to get over the last guy. Unless you have serious attachment tendencies (in which case I’d say get some counseling), have fun! If it would help to distinguish this relationship as purely casual, particularly choose a guy you wouldn’t choose for a relationship. Even better, choose a guy who can fulfill a fantasy of yours! Missing Your Ex? Get Some Relationship Perspective [EXPERT]
4. You’re on vacation. Even if you’re looking for a serious relationship (while at home), you’ll be in vacation mode and probably feel more comfortable living in the moment. Consider it part of the vacation fun. If you can head back home with happy memories and without attachments, you might as well enjoy yourself! Spending quality time with a quality person can only add to your life, even if your time together is short.
Of course, only you can decide when you’re ready to sleep with someone. You certainly shouldn’t feel pressured by the third date rule or feel pressured to wait. But because the outcomes can differ vastly from our expectations, it is worth giving the decision some thought.
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