Death is the natural order of things. Not is meant to last forever and everything has an expiration date. But knowing this doesn’t make it easier to overcome the grief of losing a loved one. Whether it’s a family member or a close friend, it is not easy to overcome losing a person who has been dear to you. Some people never get to do it and end up pining for that person for a long time, even forever.
But, the world will still keep on turning and things will continue to go in their natural order. So should you too. No matter how hard or devastating the loss was for you-you still have to continue on with your life. Sometimes it is easy, most of the times it is hard. But what all of us need to realize that life needs to be lived and that we have to continue living on our own. However, if you are not able to reach this realization in a normal and natural way, here are some ways that can help you deal with the loss of a loved one.
Let Nothing Go Unsaid
One of the primary causes of grief over the loss of a beloved one is that you often regret not saying certain things to them. Maybe it was something important that you wanted them to know or it was just a meaningful thing that meant a lot to you. Either way, we can’t let go of the fact that the person is not there anymore so we can tell them how much they mean to us.
So if you haven’t done this, you can do it right now. Say it out loud! No matter if there is no one there to hear you. Just say everything you wanted them to know. Most people would go to the actual grave-site and tell them in person, in a sort of way. In most cultures, people bring funeral flowers when they visit the grave, like in UK for instance, and it is a perfect opportunity to say it there and then. You will feel a lot better afterward.
It is time to stop feeling sorry for yourself and realize that you have to be grateful. Clinging too long to a loss is unhealthy and it will only hurt you in the long run. It is time to throw all those feelings away and start being grateful for the things that you have and the people around you.
The person that you have lost would not like it if you feel that way. There are many things that you can still cherish that exist right now and many things that can make you happy. Don’t wait for the wake-up call to come and hit you in the head, chase it and grab it. Once you wake up and start feeling grateful things will be much easier from there.
We Don’t Know What Tomorrow Will Bring
Death can come at any time and at any moment. But we shouldn’t live in the fear of it, we should learn how to forget about that and live life to the fullest. Death is a real thing, don’t get me wrong, and we don’t know if it will come tomorrow or in 50-years’ time. Either way, we can’t live our lives constantly fearing it.
We should embrace the feeling and use each moment that we got on this Earth. Try living life to the fullest and stop dwindling on less important things. A loss of a family member or a close friend often invokes feelings of our own mortality. We are functioning beings and we should be aware of it. But we should not allow that feeling to take over us and dictate our lives.
Embrace the Pain
When somebody we truly love leaves our world we are going to be overtaken by grief and pain. This is completely normal and we shouldn’t have to hide it. People will understand so you don’t have to put on a brave face the whole time. Embrace the pain, feel it. It is completely acceptable to do so and actually very healthy.
We still can’t let it overtake us completely because we will end up descending a downward spiral that leads to nowhere. Once you have accepted the pain and fully realized that the person you cherished is no longer with us you are one step closer of relinquishing that pain completely and learning how to cope with a world without your favorite person.
Finally, Let Go
Once you pass all the stages of grief you are left with the last one, the most important one. Learning how to let go is the most difficult part and an obstacle that many don’t get to hurdle across. But it is a necessary part of the healing process and the final step of it. Unfortunately, it is the hardest step that one needs to make. A lot of times, people don’t even get to make that final step even after completing all the other ones.
After you let go you will be fully healed and will be able to move on with your life in a healthy way. This, of course, does not mean that you have to forget about the person you’ve lost completely. You will always think about them somewhere in the back of your mind, but you will never dwindle on the loss anymore. You will accept the fact that they are gone but will be happy to have had them at some point in your life.