I talked about Terri Graham in last week’s episode of “What We Missed” because, well, her story confounded me. To refresh your memory, Terri is the 44-year-old mother of two who bottle-fed her children, but breastfeeds her dog, a pug named Spider. There will be a full-length interview with Terri coming out in Closer Magazine. I’m hoping it will go into more detail aboutwhy she didn’t or couldn’t breastfeed her kids. Because I need to understand that more thoroughly. Anyhow, a snippet from the article says that about two years ago, Terri’s dog developed an affinity for her breast milk after licking the nipple of a bottle pumped for her newborn son.
“Having Spider suckle on my boob means I finally feel complete and a better mother,” said Terri.
I’m just going to leave that there. Call me and interspecies breastfeeding shamer, that’s fine. I can’t say that I endorse doggie breastfeeding.
Click on through to see some more breastfeeding tales that will blow your mind. [Huffington Post]
1. Erotic Breastfeeding
Recently, TLC’s “Strange Sex” featured a segment about a man who was sexually aroused by getting his wife Michelle pregnant and drinking her breast milk. Jeff admitted to “feeding” off of his wife for the last year-and-a-half and claimed that milk straight from the source cured his erectile dysfunction.
What can I say to this? Her husband must have an incredible immune system.
2. Breastfeeding Her Cat
Closer Magazine, who apparently has the bizarre breastfeeding market on lockdown, ran a story back in 2009 about Missouri woman Janine Hammon who breastfeeds her cat Flash, her Guinea pig, her shire horse and her human son, Kenny.
“People will think I’m weird, but it’s an amazing experience. Flash loves it, and feeds twice a day. Nobody should knock it until they’ve tried it … It’s fantastic. His teeth and rough tongue skin tickle, but he’s never one broken my skin … “I hope Kenny and Flash will have a close bond. When Kenny is older I’ll tell him and hope that he’ll think it’s cool,” said the 25-year-old.
I don’t know if cool will be the word Kenny uses to describe this to his future therapist. [River Front Times]
3. Breastfeeding 26 Cats
Janine Hamon, Margaret Masango of Zimbabwe will see your one breastfeeding cat and raise you 25. The 48-year-old was charged with breastfeeding 26 cats, conducting witchcraft lessons, believing that her daughter was a goblin and keeping her mother’s corpse for four days without reporting her death. She sounds mentally ill to me. But if she did indeed breastfeed 26 cats, God bless her. Also, how do you know if your child is a goblin? [H-Metro]
4. Breastfeeding Bandit
Imagine walking into your baby’s nursery and finding a stranger breastfeeding him. That’s what happened to a South Dakota mom. She had to call 9-1-1 when she awoke at 5a.m. to find an her two-month-old son suckling on an intruder’s teat. How very “Hand That Rocks The Cradle.” The 24-year-old “breastfeeding bandit” was changed with unlawful occupancy (and one count of creepy breastfeeding?). [Huffington Post]
5. She’ll Breastfeed Her Teenager
Amanda Hurst, the 28-year-old mother of 5-year-old Jonathan, proudly told Closer that she plans to breastfeed him until he’s a teenager:
“I’m proud to still be breastfeeding my son … It’s natural, no matter how old the child is … The bond is amazing. And I’ve got more than enough to go round so I’m happy to feed other children … Jonathan will want it less as he grows up, but right now he loves it. And I’m happy to go on, even when he’s a teenager!”
There are so many things in this statement that make me uncomfortable. I’m not sure where to begin. I’m certain that Jonathan should not be breastfeeding as a teenager. Also, I’m certain that if another woman offered to breastfeed my baby, I would turn her down. [Closer]
6. Breastfeeding Her Dad
I know you can read, but still, let me repeat this once more: “I breastfeed my dad to save his life!” Tagline: “Sonia Ortiz-Allen believes her breast milk is helping her dad beat cancer – and shockingly she even lets him suckle it straight from her nipples.”
I can understand wanting to save you father’s life. I can even understand donating your breast milk for the cause. But straight from the nipple? I can’t. [Get Big]
7. Another Dad Breastfeeder
Twenty-seven-year-old Georgia Browne of Bristol also supplies breast milk for her father. Only, her dad Tim doesn’t drink it straight from the tap. Georgia nurses her son Monty and then brings the leftovers to her father Tim to pour over his cornflakes every morning. Georgia hopes that her milk will help cure her father’s cancer. I suppose this makes sense. [Yahoo]
Original by Amy Angelowicz