Many people dream that divorce will solve all the indignation that plagued the couple in married life. But in practice, a happy end is most often met in fairy tales. Divorce can exacerbate all the disagreements that have accumulated over the years. This is especially true of the issues of raising a child.
Therefore, if your divorce does not portend a happy ending, then for the benefit of the child it is necessary to think about parallel parenting education. Many people think that it is too complicated and long. But this is about the feelings and mental health of your child. Here you will learn a lot about what it is and why you should consider this option.
How Co-Parenting Affects
This approach to parental education makes the process of divorce less painful for the child. But parents will have to be ready to make a lot of effort to achieve the right co-parenting approach. Therefore, be prepared to devote not only time to this important issue but also special attention.
If you are still at the stage of preparing documents, you can use the help of online divorce services. Companies like OnlineDivorcer specialize in preparing divorce documents and providing support in filling out divorce forms for your personal divorce case. So if there are difficulties with filing for divorce, then they can help you on a professional level.
If you have an acute conflict with your spouse, then it may be difficult for you to reach an agreement on many issues. But there is a good alternative. Let’s go back to the issues of organizing co-parenting by which you will achieve the same goal but minimize conflict situations. We are talking about parallel co-parenting.
In order for each parent to be able to participate in the life and upbringing of the child, it is necessary to carefully consider the joint parenting schedule. To do this, you will need to act together with your spouse or ask the mediator for help.
Remember that you first need to learn how to repel personal emotions and act for the good of the child. By the way, most couples come to the fact that they can communicate normally and jointly raise a child after the practice of parallel co-parenting. So you should definitely try to achieve success in this parenting practice.
Recommendations Regarding Parallel Co-Parenting
Here you will find general recommendations that can help you achieve success in this practice. As mentioned earlier, you should be prepared for such an education both. You can ask a psychologist for help to teach you and your spouse how to reduce emotional stress and remember that a mediator can help you resolve many issues. Let’s get back to the recommendations you should follow:
- Consider specialized applications that can streamline many custody issues. For example, you might consider Cooparently or Family Wizard. Such apps allow you to solve all questions regarding the child online without any calls to your ex. Using these applications, you can reduce the emotional intensity in communication with him or her and practically minimize communication.
- Any communication with a spouse must be respectful and have a businesslike tone. Now you do not have to sort things out, you have to solve questions regarding the child and only in his favor. Excessive comments regarding the parenting methods of the other parent are also not entirely appropriate.
- Try to resort to oral communication outside the set dates only in emergency situations, and not for every little thing.
- Make a meeting point for transferring children to neutral places. It will be better if you meet in a cafe or school. The first time to deal with the transfer of a child in the house of one of the spouses is not the best idea, as conflicts can arise.
- You can use e-mail to report on not urgent issues and questions. Try to ensure that the number of letters does not exceed two for a month. Also, all your letters should be respectful and without advice on education.
- If you have a conflict or even an acute conflict with your spouse, then use the help of a third party. It is better that this is not an interested person, for example, a psychologist or a mediator. Also, plan meetings with a third party in neutral places.
- Follow the rule, which implies that spouses do not interfere in the methods of the child’s upbringing of each. Naturally, when this does not call into question the safety of the child.
- Each parent needs to take a direct part in the life of the child. She\he must communicate with teachers, know all the doctors and friends of her\his child. Explain to teachers and doctors about your situation so that they understand why both parents do not act together, but separately.
- Set your child’s understanding of what the father’s house and the mother’s house are. Explain that your methods of education and upbringing can be different and the child will need to follow the rules of everyone in their house. But these rules should act only in the interests of the child and his safety.
- It may be better if you do not attend your child’s activities together for the first time. This applies to school concerts or sporting events. So it will be better if you make a schedule of who will attend the events and which ones.
The Final Thoughts
It is impossible to say that parallel education is too simple or too complicated. It will be difficult only at the stage of organization and planning. And further, it will be really easier for you to engage in raising your child. Therefore, it is important for you to work effectively with your spouse in the initial stages.
Remember that this type of custody will help your child painlessly endure divorce and not hurt his life. Therefore, you need to make every effort to ensure the happiness of your child. You must admit that the health and happiness of a child are much more important than a personal offense to your ex.