Maybe you know Kristen Schaal from “The Daily Show,” or her role as stalker Mel on “Flight of the Conchords,” or from small roles in about a dozen different movies. And while you probably don’t know his face, if you’re a “Daily Show” viewer, you’ve heard Jon Stewart deliver Rich Blomquist’s jokes, because he works there as a writer.
What you may not have known is that the two are a very funny couple in real life and have just released a hilarious book, entitled, The Sexy Book of Sexy Sex (Chronicle). Part instructional manual, part highly scientific history of sex, TSBOSS has a little something for anyone who’s ever even thought about touching themselves or someone else, “down there.” We caught up with Kristen and Rich to ask them a few questions about their latest project — check out what they had to say, after the jump!Why, out of all the topics in the world you could cover, did you two decide to write a sex book?
Rich: It was Kristen’s idea.
Kristen: “We’re the best love-makers in the galaxy and we thought it would b e a crime not to share just the tip of our wisdom.”
Were you fans of the Joy of Sex? And how do you think your book differs from that ‘70s classic?
Rich: Ours has lots of pictures and colors and though JoS showed hairy werewolves having sex, ours includes not only werewolves, but other aliens and monsters having sex too.
Did writing a sex book change your sex life? And if so, was it quantity or quality that suffered?
Rich: It reduced the quantity, so the quality had to be through the roof.
Why do you think the quantity suffered?
Kristen: It’s hard to type when you’re making love.
So you guys didn’t have minions to do your typing?
Kristen: No, we’re not that rich.
Advice columnists are always saying you shouldn’t s**t where you eat, but it seems to have worked out pretty well for you two. Did you two meet working on “The Daily Show”?
Rich: We met working on an Adult Swim pilot called “Snake and Bacon.” Kristen was playing a fairy flapper. The show didn’t get picked up, but that’s how we met.
What advice do you have for someone who’s hot for a coworker?
Kristen: I think it’s okay to date your coworker, but if you do break up, both of you should quit.
Both of you should quit?!
Kristen: Yes! That’s fair.
What’s the most interesting bit of sex information you dug up while researching the book?
Rich: I like the origin of the heart shape. It’s based on the seed of this extinct grain [the silphium plant] that was used for birth control, but everyone ate all of it so it’s extinct.
What’s your advice for a woman who’s going through a long dry spell?
Kristen: A vibrator! Use it all the time!
What about a guy going through a sexual drought?
Rich: Go into super-gentleman mode. Buy some fancy dinners, hold a lot of doors—anything you can do to win over her heart. You could also try painting her toenails in bed—
Kristen: —and between every coat, lick her p**sy!
How important is sassy lingerie to a relationship?
Both, pretty much in unison: It’s a waste of money!
You guys devote an entire chapter to masturbation. How much is too much?
Kristen: If it stops you from accomplishing simple things.
Rich: When dehydration becomes an issue.
Kristen: If your hand starts to cramp up, give your hand-lover a breather.
Rich: If you look out the window and see new inventions that weren’t there when you started masturbating, it’s time to stop.
Another big section of your book is devoted to the taint—that short stretch of skin between the balls and butt. Why do you think the taint gets such short shrift in sex books?
Kristen: I think it needs a jazzier name. If we called it the Norwegian Wood, everyone would talk about it.
Are you guys worried about what your parents will think? Have you told them that you wrote such a sexy book?
Kristen: We warned them throughout the whole process that it was really dirty. I think my mom will eat it up. My dad will put it down after a few pages.
Finally, I love that you guys came up with a new porno-name generator—no more first pet’s name + the street you grew up on; you go with favorite beverage + biggest insecurity = porn name. Mine’s Pinot Grigio Gingivitis, what are yours?
Kristen: Chardonnay Mathematics.
Rich: Single Malt Bald Spot.
Readers?
Original by: Judy McGuire
