Society’s relationship with sex is fraught with shame. This leads to a great deal of confusion when it comes to sex toys. It also leads to ignorance: some people can’t tell the difference between a dildo and a vibrator, for example.
That’s not the least of it. Imagine someone who penetrates their anus with a vibrator that was not intended for this purpose. They could find themselves in the emergency room.
This article has all the information you need to start looking for the best sex toy for your and/or your partner’s needs. We all deserve as much of pleasure as we can get against the backdrop of everything else.
The Silent Majority
I don’t mean it in the conventional sense. Statistics show that for every woman who’s tried a sex toy, there are around two that haven’t. There is a silent but curious majority out there. What is stopping them? A few things.
It’s not ‘Natural’
Some women labor under the misconception that only a person is supposed to make you cum. Others are worried that a toy could desensitize them to human touch and they’ll get addicted to it. Still, others are simply too embarrassed to buy one.
Many men are hesitant to explore the world of sex toys too. Sometimes, it’s also out of embarrassment. More often, it’s because they feel threatened. If their partner gets a toy, they start to think they’re bad in bed.
Obviously, this is also a misconception. A toy can’t talk to you, it can’t kiss, it can’t cuddle. What it can do is stimulate major erogenous zones, adding orgasmic intensity. Many people can’t find or don’t even know zones like the A- or the G-spot exist. These areas are highly sensitive. There are also toys that increase the man’s pleasure.
Beginners can get caught up in toy mechanics and get things wrong, so it’s best to opt for the simplest of toys in the beginning. This could be a small, no-frills clit vibrator that’s easy to conceal, but it could be something else. Without experimenting, you won’t find out what you like.
Blindfolds can distract women from insecurity, empowering them in the process. An even better idea may be blindfolding your partner. It will make you more confident. A lot of people who have done it share that they’ve become bolder and more liberated.
Single people may have qualms about the prospect of a sex toy for personal use. If the alternatives are a one-night stand or a bad date, a toy is far better – and far safer.
Let your turn-ons lead the way if your mind is made up.
What Turns You On?
To get started, Ben Wa balls or massage candles would be suitable. These are small, weighted balls that you insert into the vagina. The stronger your pelvic muscles, the more powerful your orgasms. Ben Wa balls strengthen these very muscles, which also enhances pleasure by controlling bladder flow.
Popular Choices for Beginners
Most women who are new to toys start with vibrators. As for men, masturbation sleeves (pocket pussies) and vibrating rings are among the top choices. Most women orgasm from clitoral stimulation more easily, so vibration-focused products are a go-to option.
The most common products for couples just starting out are cock rings, vibrators, and basic BDSM kits (yes, such do exist, so don’t be afraid to venture into this territory).
On the other hand, getting an innovative, high-class toy will open up satisfying and useful conversation. It’s more advisable than just buying a dildo, which can be intimidating for both partners. Things you find around the house can also be a good prelude to toys.
If your hand gets tired from manual masturbation, go for a more powerful vibrator. Look for high-quality materials like silicone. Choose a toy that speaks to the sexy part of your imagination, but familiarize yourself with how it’s used before buying. A knowledgeable salesperson can prove invaluable in the process.
Shopping Online vs. Onsite
On that note, shopping at a physical venue has its benefits. Store assistants can be very helpful to you and your partner (if you go together). Don’t insist on dragging them to the store, though. Tell them that it will be an adventure for the two of you, something out of the ordinary, even something that, in fact, you’ve never done together.
Alternatively, you can shop for sex toys online on this website. This is the better option if you feel really embarrassed about having face-to-face contact with a salesperson. If you choose this option, go for a retailer that ships adult toys discreetly. A legally compliant retailer will not divulge your data to third parties, which will bombard you with pesky and often embarrassing ads.
More importantly, you should select a quality retailer who offers body-safe products at reasonable prices. In some countries, the government doesn’t regulate the sex toy market. Consequently, companies can sell ones made of low-grade rubber, jelly, and other unsafe materials, which should not go into your body.
Onboarding Your Partner
If you want to use it with your partner, talk to them before buying anything. While shopping together could be lots of fun, don’t just assume they’ll agree to go. Be direct when bringing it up. Tell them you’d like to experiment with a vibrator or a dildo or something more general. You could say you think a sex toy will add some variety to your experiences. Ask them what they think by all means.
Before you start shopping, we recommend some activities to bring your partner closer to accepting the idea of a toy. You could caress their body with a feather duster (not the same one you dust the furniture with). Use a block of ice to arouse sensations or restrain their hands with a tie. A soft plastic spatula can be used for a light spanking to make your way into the world of S&M.
Some people explore each other’s bodies with food: whipped cream, chocolate sauce, fruit, or veggies.
Here’s the best advice of all: relax, enjoy, and don’t judge yourself. Shame has no place in this.