It has recently come to my attention that there are ladies out there who think that their man drooling over pornography is tantamount to adultery. If you truly believe this, you should either dump him ASAP, with extreme prejudice, or accept that you’re going to have to live with his mistress. Dudes watch porn. You […]
When I’m ill, I drink whiskey. More specifically, a hot toddy, otherwise known as “Irish Nyquil.” My beloved local bartender from North Ireland taught me her old family recipe—just hot water, a couple jiggers of whiskey, and lemon wedges studded with cloves. One of those, spicy Kung Pao chicken, and bed. I behave like a […]
“You’re either gay, straight, or lying.” I first heard that oft-repeated phrase when I was an 18-year-old freshman at UC Berkeley. I was at my first meeting of the GLBA (Gay, Lesbian, and Bisexual Alliance). I’d recently broken up with a girlfriend, and had been dating (and sleeping with) both men and women; I was […]
That first kiss is a cupcake-shaped grenade that explodes into springtime rain. As a man, it’s more important than the best seats in the stadium, that huge job promotion, or the first time your father calls you for advice. It is a prelude to all the best things in life: waking up to an empty […]
Yesterday, I stumbled across this list of dating theories from an anonymous dude who claims to have over two decades of dating experience. That’s a confirmed bachelor, all right. Most of his theories were funny (“Women Who Begin Emails With ‘Hey You’ Are Crazy”) and some were straight-up genius (“Drinking Red Wine On Dates Is […]
I am canceling dating. That’s right. The public negotiation for sex, commitment, and marriage between two strangers that begins with “Do you want to go out Friday night?” is now officially over. Kaput. Adios! It’s too much drama. Stress. Money. It’s nothing but awkward conversations, uncomfortable clothes, and mediocre Thai meals. Nobody seems to enjoy […]
The dudes over at AskMen.com came up with a list of “10 Cruel Things Women Do To Men,” including giving out fake phone numbers, withholding sex, flirting to make you jealous, etc. OK, I’ve done that last one. But as a lady, I can confess a few more sins I’ve seen my kind do to dudes. […]
A book, A Billion Wicked Thoughts, studied over one billion internet users and uncovered what kind of porn people are really cruising for online. Predictably, the authors found that women are more into erotica than men, and that women’s sexual interests and desires are more fluid and tend to change over time. Total shocker. Results […]
Everything I ever needed to know about dating, I learned selling comedy tickets on the streets of New York City. Convincing a grouchy New Yorker to give you cash money for magic beans is a brutal way to make a living, much less a buck. But it was while pounding the proverbial pavement like a […]
