The prevalence of online applications and the growing people’s habit of using their smartphones as an escape route from feeling uncomfortable in real life takes its toll on relationships and the level of infidelity. But to find out the reasons why people are cheating and lying, it is rather necessary to look into ourselves.
Contents
- Why Do People Cheat on Their Partners?
- What Signs Could Indicate That Your Significant Other May Be Cheating on You?
- What Are the Statistics on Infidelity in the United States and Around the World?
- How Can You Help a Relationship Last?
- What Should You Do If Your Partner Is Lying to You About Cheating?
- FAQ
Why Do People Cheat on Their Partners?
This is perhaps the first question that everyone who is faced with a partner’s infidelity wants to get answered. Before you start the blame game, it’s important to understand that your offender may have acted more instinctively and situationally than they clearly understood what drives them. If the game is worth the candle for you and you are ready to make an effort to restore trust in the cheating partner, then it is better to show a mutual willingness to talk heart to heart and dig to the very bottom of it.
Nevertheless, you should also inspect your behavior which may have influenced the way things are to some extent. Take a look at the following common reasons why people tend to cheat and perhaps recognize the one that played a role in your situation:
- their affair is not related to problems in your family or relationship but rather to changes in the partner’s inner world. Often people have to suppress their true desires and put off self-discovery on the back burner until the right moment comes – namely, when they find peace and, seemingly, everything a person could dream of.
- the desire to taste the forbidden fruit and enter into utopian love stories often pushes people to a fatal step. Your cheating spouse may be a nice person and not even a narcissist who doesn’t care about your feelings (this needs to be established, though). They may have suffered childhood trauma, for instance, from their parents, emotionally, physically, and even sexually.
- greater accessibility and less censure. People are increasingly forming their idea of the world through a virtual environment, and it seems to them that somewhere the grass is always greener. A convo on social media starting with a simple “hello” and “how things are going” can form a bond that will attract more attention than family and children and stir up subconscious fantasies. And the chances that a person will weigh in on infidelity only increase if their object of desire agrees to keep it a secret.
What Signs Could Indicate That Your Significant Other May Be Cheating on You?
Reading the disturbing headlines of articles and various statistics, one might get the impression that cheating will not bypass any household. But it’s not always so. It will be wrong to start behaving in such a way towards a person as if you know for sure that they are deceiving you without proof. What might prompt you to look for these very clues is the signs of cheating, namely if:
- your partner has become inconsistent in their stories
- their schedule has changed, and they are no longer available to you
- they criticize you and seem to be looking for a reason to quarrel and/or break off relationships by putting you in a bad light
- they become passive-aggressive when you get close to their devices
- they don’t have time for sex with you, nor the desire to change something about it
Of course, you should not turn a blind eye when you see these signs or subconsciously feel that something is off about your loved one. Don’t try to sugarcoat it and constantly chalk it up to third-party causes. The main thing is not to rush to conclusions and direct confrontations before you catch your cheating partner red-handed.
What Are the Statistics on Infidelity in the United States and Around the World?
This is a fact, and we can’t argue with it – the level of infidelity around the world is not declining. To give you a summary of all the American studies conducted by Institute for Family Studies, it should be pointed out that approximately 20% of all married unions go through this most unpleasant experience; an even greater percentage of infidelity is recorded among people not related by marriage (up to 70%).
The situation in the world as a whole cannot be called optimistic either. In many countries, like the Philippines, Tunisia, Indonesia, Pakistan, and Malaysia, respondents consider cheating acceptable (about 90% of respondents). In European countries, 40-46% of people admitted to adultery. Well, if after this information, you do not need a visit to a psychologist, let’s see what AskDougandChris.Com relationship coaches have to say about this.
Take Chris and Doug, for example, who delve into disturbing relationship topics for those who have lived through a turmoil of lies and betrayal. You can find a lot of advice on their blog, including how to make exposing a cheater as painless and fast as possible, which, you’d agree, is one of the important goals of every offended partner.
How Can You Help a Relationship Last?
Think of your relationship as a garden that you and your husband or partner tend to. If each of you takes care of the trees and nourishes the soil, it will delight you with fruits. If one of you, for some reason, refuses their obligations and throws everything on the shoulders of a partner, then what is the point for them to carry on by themselves and continue to share the harvest with an idler?
Having said that, working together is the only thing that can heal wounds after cheating in a relationship and help you move on.
Conversations
Try to suppress the voice of your fury so that you can give the floor to your partner – both sides must be heard and understood. Of course, you should arrange to talk when you feel that you are in a more stable state than when you first learned about infidelity. The partner who is at fault should be as loving as possible and not rush things.
Books
When taking a timeout to be alone with yourself, it is important not to stay at home as if life has stopped. Walking in the fresh air, taking up hobbies, and of course, reading books on psychology or relationship coaches will help you cope with the situation and look at it from other angles.
Counseling
If you don’t feel the strength to forgive your loved one as well as let them go, this can be a nut to crack for professional relationship therapists. Even the opportunity to talk to someone who won’t judge (friends or family aren’t always fit for that) will help you lift a stone from your soul. Perhaps this will be your first step toward a new happy life with or without your spouse.
What Should You Do If Your Partner Is Lying to You About Cheating?
Well, the situation with cheating and lying will require more patience and time from you than breathing in and out. Believe us, if they repent of their deed, they do not need to see your tears and sighs of despair to feel like a scoundrel. They may already regret what they have done, but they understand that time cannot be returned back, so simply starting a conversation in a good tone of voice can dispose them to confess everything.
In another case, it may require tremendous fortitude to simply walk away from a person who treats you like dirt. It is important here to see the evidence with your own eyes and show it to the cheater in order to get closure. In many cases, testimonials from friends help, as well as personal vigilance when your cheating partner forgets to log out of an account on a laptop or leaves a smartphone unlocked. Also, for covert monitoring of their social networks and calls, you can use the spying application.
FAQ
What is emotional cheating?
Emotional cheating is a person’s reaction to being deprived of appreciation or attention from a permanent partner. It can manifest itself in mental cheating, flirting online, sharing news with another person, discussing relationship problems, exchanging indecent messages, and so on.
How to forgive yourself for cheating and not telling?
They say all the secret becomes clear. If your relationship is destined to last, sooner or later, you must confess to your spouse what happened to work out ways to solve the problem. Even if they reject you, you will feel better about confessing.
How to know if your girlfriend is cheating?
See if she has developed a frequent habit of asking where you are and when you will be. Also, she may be reluctant to make plans for the future with you and prioritize meeting other people.
How to fix a relationship after cheating?
This can only be done through the efforts of two partners, with much more involvement of the cheating spouse, as well as by seeking advice and guidance from coaches and therapists.
Why is cheating wrong?
Cheating is bad because it goes against many of the moral principles that make us conscious people. Often it is destructive not only for our loved ones but also for ourselves.