I have been in a relationship with my first serious boyfriend for a little over a year. Our relationship is great and I am very much in love. A couple of weeks ago, I started having dreams about flirting with other men, being tempted to hook up with them, and even cheating on my boyfriend. Sometimes it was about guys that I know, but mostly it was about strangers. It lasted for about four nights in a row, but I haven’t had them since. I would never even think of cheating on my boyfriend, although I sometimes lose a bit of desire or sexual attraction towards him. I think he is the one, and even though that is absolutely great, I sometimes think about how I might never get to ‘‘experience’’ dating and being single. So what do those dreams mean?—The Sleeper-Cheater
I want to give you a hug. You are a total sweetheart. Deep breath. You are guilty of nothing by dreaming about or fantasizing about other men. There is a certain mourning that goes along with ending your time as a single lady. Just because you are in a relationship doesn’t mean that you stop being human. Humans are sexual animals. You will never cease to notice hot dudes around you and find them making cameos in your nightly visions. That’s just how we do.
But let’s focus on your comment about losing your desire for your BF. It’s completely normal to go through peaks and valleys with your sex life, especially when you have one partner for an extended period of time. Sex is just one component of a happy relationship. But this is your first serious relationship and you may not yet know what you’re capable of … sexually.
Your dreams seem to be a call to action to tell your man that you’re ready for the two of you to expand your repertoire in the boudoir. If your sexual attraction is waning, it’s definitely something to discuss in a kind and sensitive way. Maybe there’s something you want in the sack that you’re not getting? I think it’s totally healthy to be able to talk about your fantasies and desires openly with your S.O. Maybe you two are already doing that. If so, GREAT! If not, your inner self is urging you to explore. Go hither and revel in your sexuality. If your man is really the one, I predict he will be thrilled.
Original by Ami Angelowicz