I’m 32, still low in the ranks at work, fighting with my husband and kids ALL the time, and don’t find any joy in the things I used to! What’s wrong with me? Do I need therapy? Where have my hopes and dreams gone?
A couple of days ago I was talking to an employee of our company, and she was in tears. I really felt for her. She was in distress and was reaching out to me for answers. Having a bit of a background of her circumstances I knew that she was unfulfilled. She wore her robe of sadness and low expectancy as armor every day, and as time went by, the dissatisfaction and bitterness were slowly creeping into more aspects of her life, reinforcing her feelings of hopelessness and distress. As her manager and friend, I felt the obligation help. I wanted to know when the last time was, she felt thrilled, even for a moment. When was the last time she had a vision for her life, the last time she day-dreamed about being somewhere amazing, doing amazing things? She could not answer me.
Source: Popsugar
Is this you? Can you relate to her story? We all expected to have our lives together by the time we hit our 30’s. We were supposed to be established, happy, healthy and fit; in the prime of our lives. Instead; we wound up tired, confused, and hustling for scraps. What happened? Where did it all go so wrong?
According to a 2017 article in The Guardian titled: The lost generation: ‘I’m 30-something – and still depressed and broke; half of the recent graduates are not working in their field of expertise and wages have stagnated. We hear this song everywhere; the economy is down, jobs are hard to find, stick to what you have and be grateful. How hopeless is that? No wonder such a high number of working-age adults are depressed and unsuccessful.
On the other hand, self-employment statistics are up, the number of self-made millionaires has never been higher, and there are still people who are making it big. Are they the lucky ones? Are they born special?
What is the real difference between these 2 groups of people? We can go into socio-economic factors, education, government responsibility etc., but I don’t believe that this is where the answer lies. I think that the answer lies inside each of us. Society has given us guidelines to follow to be successful and happy; go to school, study hard, get a job, marry, have kids, be happy. Simple. Not so much. For most 30-somethings, this isn’t working out. Why? Because ‘society’ has not taught us how to manage each of these stages introspectively and successfully?
Don’t get me wrong, this is not a blame game. The changes to technological advances, work-place culture and general societal norms from the generation of the 60s to that of the 80s was so significant; that I truly believe our parents, societal structures and formal education institutions genuinely did not know how to coach us through this new and exciting, albeit challenging, modern world.
This is good news. If we weren’t taught to manage our lives better, then this is something we can learn. It is not some innate talent or gift that we can never acquire, but with some discipline and will, we too can be successful. Never has there been a time where self-help and skill-acquiring-tools were so accessible. TEDx, YouTube, free online e-books and seminars are everywhere, we need the desire and time to start acquiring these tools.
I had this discussion and several follow-ups with my friend and colleague. Unfortunately, she had already reached the point of hopelessness – and hopelessness breeds inaction. I had eventually pointed her to an article at Therapyroute.com explaining what therapy is and suggested that she sees a therapist.
Source: Best Life
7 signs you need therapy to get your life back on track:
– You have feelings of shame and remorse regarding your current state of being
– You either feel intensely agitated or completely apathetic towards regular daily routine
– You have developed unexplained ailments such as recurring headaches, stomach aches or flu-like symptoms
– You do not find fulfillment in activities you used to enjoy
– Your personal and work-relationships are becoming increasingly strained
– You are unable to think of the desired future and fail to see hope
– When you introspect and analyze your situation; everything feels like a whirlwind of thoughts, and you are unable to line them up structurally and logically.
Sometimes we do need the help of a professional to nudge us back on the right track mentally. We need to get to a place internally where we can have a clearer perspective on what needs to change within us, to change the things without.
