Sex is not only for the young. Those of you who are experiencing sexual problems as you age would do well to keep this statement in mind. You might be experiencing vaginal pain or erectile dysfunction due to changes in circulatory functioning and declining hormone levels.
These physical changes may have forced you to prefer the subdued responses of middle and later life sex over the intensity of youthful lovemaking. But they shouldn’t keep you from creating a richer, more playful, and ultimately orgasmic intercourse. Here’s why we’re saying that.
Treating sexual problems is easier today than ever before. You can consult professional sex therapists and turn to revolutionary medications if you need them. But if your sexual issues are minor, making the following adjustments to your lovemaking may also help.
1. Educate Yourself
The internet contains plenty of helpful information for every type of sexual problem. You can also visit your local bookstore, pick out a few resources that discuss your situation, and go through them to make sure you and your partner are better informed about your issue.
Provided you can’t muster the courage to discuss the issue openly, you and your partner can highlight the passages that apply to you, before showing them to each other. This will ensure that no boundaries are crossed as you go about finding a solution to your problem.
Doing this might be difficult for people who have experienced trauma. That’s why once you come across a topic that brings back painful memories, take a step back and seek support from your loved one, preferably your partner. Be gentle with yourself as you discover more about your problem(s).
2. Give Yourself Time
Takes time, and in addition to this, sexual responses slow down with age. For men the tipping point comes after age 50 as their testosterone levels begin to come down. As a result, it might take them more time to get an erection, and their erections may not last as long. Or their erections might not be as firm as they were in the previous years.
In the case of females, menopause might lead them to discover that their attitudes and feelings about sex have undergone a shift. They might find that it’s taking them longer to get sexually excited. The duration of their orgasms might shrink as well. Read more on https://www.masculinedevelopment.com/
To ensure these physical necessities don’t jeopardize your lovemaking routine, try finding a quiet, comfortable, and noise-free setting for sex. Also, keep in mind that both of you will need more time to get aroused and reach an orgasm. Once you think about it, this is an excellent thing as it means you’ll be having sex for extended periods.
3. Use Plenty of Lubrication
In the case of females, vaginal dryness kick-started by perimenopause can lead to the thinning of the skin around the vagina. This might make it difficult for them to enjoy lovemaking as even gentle friction can cause discomfort and pain, potentially leading to a loss of sexual desire.
It isn’t only during sexual intercourse that vaginal dryness causes pain. Researchers tell us that it can also make it uncomfortable for females to sit, stand, work, exercise, or even urinate. All in all, vaginal dryness can hurt the quality of everyday life, whether females are sexually active or not.
To stop matters from getting to such a head and enjoy your sex life, use plenty of lubricating gels and liquids before and during sex. If you feel that lubricants are no longer working, consult your doctor for alternative options.
4. Learn Touching Techniques
Sex therapists use various sensate focus techniques to re-ignite your sexual desire. You can either consult them or go through educational videos and self-help books to know more about these exercises. Alternatively, you may ask your partner to tell you how they want to be touched.
Here’s why you might want to explore the final option. Some people hate light, tickly scratches while others adore them. Some like their sex to be pain-free while others prefer the opposite. Some like gentler ministrations during massages whereas others prefer hard pressure.
Only by asking your partner what they like would you come to know about the type of sensations that get them in the mood for lovemaking. As the old (but still relevant) adage goes, if you don’t ask, you may never end up knowing!
5. Try Different Positions
Trying different sex positions not only helps you mix things up in bed. It also ensures things stay fresh between you and your partner. This might encourage both of you to look forward with eager anticipation to the time when you will be engaged in lovemaking.
More importantly, trying different sex positions can help overcome issues. For instance, if the woman is finding it difficult to reach orgasm, she might want her partner to enter her from behind. Doing so would lead to the increased stimulation to the G-spot, helping her reach climax.
Tweaking conventional positions will also help you get to know more about your bodies than you ever would if you always stick to positions you feel the most comfortable about. And it will also help you target different pleasure points in your bodies.
6. Write Down Your Fantasies
Are you struggling with low desire? Then you might want to think of activities whose mere thought turns you on. If you can’t find any, try thinking of a movie scene or an experience that aroused you and then share your thoughts with your partner.
If you’re hesitant about speaking about your fantasies out loud, note them down before showing them to your partner. A study published in the Journal of Sexual Medicine has found that doing so would give your relationship a shot in the arm if your imaginations are about your companion.
Know that you don’t have to be ashamed about your inner turn-ons and erotic desires. Certified sex coaches tell us that regardless of what your fantasy is, it’s completely normal. Just make sure you’re letting your significant other in on the secret if you’re serious about having better sex with them.
7. Do Kegel Exercises
Exercising your pelvic muscles is one of the best things you could do to improve your sexual fitness. Such exercises could make it easier for you to reach orgasm, decrease vaginal dryness, improve blood circulation to the pelvic floor and vagina, and help enhance sexual arousal.
To perform these exercises, tighten the muscle you’d use if you’re trying to stop urinating midway through. Keep the muscle tensed for two to three seconds, then let it go. Repeat the exercise 10 times. Try to do five sets every day
You can do Kegel exercises virtually anywhere – while waiting at the drive-thru, sitting at your desk, or relaxing in bed. Women can also build up muscle resistance by adding weights. Talk to your sex therapist or doctor about where to get these weights and how to use them.
Treating sexual issues has never been as easier as it is today. Professional sex therapists, online and offline resources, and cutting-edge medications are always there if you need them. However, before you turn to them, take a step back and objectively analyze your sexual issues.
Ask yourself whether your sexual problems are minor. If they are, make the abovementioned adjustments to your lovemaking style and check out whether your sex life has regained its vigor. If it does, there’s no reason why you won’t be able to realize the full potential of later-life sex.