Maddox Jolie-Pitt, 17, Has A Girlfriend (And I’m Still Single)

“He’s dating. He has a girlfriend. … She’s great. I won’t embarrass [Maddox]. She’s lovely. She lives in England. She’s very cool. … We go there as often as possible. It’s really, really sweet. She’s a great lady, so I’m lucky. So far, we’re doing good.”

On one hand, I think Angelina Jolie’s admission that her 17-year-old son Maddox has a girlfriend is adorable. On the other hand, I’m like, How is it that little Maddox, who was practically in diapers the last time I was in a really serious relationship, has more game than me? I need to go lay down to process this news. I better not wake up to a Kingston Rossdale/Suri Cruise engagement. [Vanity Fair]