I’m not going to lie, magazine photoshopping “scandals” happen so often I almost don’t even pay attention to them anymore. Men (and probably some female photo editors) are either pigs or are forced to make female stars skinnier, whiter, and dewey-eyed all the time. However, the fact that Maxim took away Priyanka Chopra’s armpit on the cover of their India issue is really getting under my skin like an ingrown hair from using lady Bic razors on the fly before a hot date. Chopra was deemed the “Hottest Woman In The World,” and she really fucking might be. She’s gorgeous and probably the only interesting thing about ABC’s Quantico, which I cannot seem to follow for the life of me (whether it’s the crazy plots or because I’m wondering how her ponytail is always so perfect, we will never know).
On the cover, she has Barbie-esque, plastic looking pits, and they just took me by surprise. I was socialized to understand that my bikini body, freckles, and short little legs would never be cover girl material, but in my 30 long years, I’ve come to accept and adore all of those things. But my armpits? Jesus, guys, can you give a girl a break. It’s not even the lack of stubble, which can be maintained with razors or lasers, but there’s not even like, a pit. There’s nothing on that cover. Not even a fat crease.
My new cover! Thank you @maxim.india #pctopsmaximhot100 #maximhot100 @stephaniebbmakeup @tedgibson
A photo posted by Priyanka Chopra (@priyankachopra) on
Let’s not even get into the fact that some women rock arm pit hair (or that most men could definitely use a trim down there); it’s that she looks like a doll in a bad way. Even those most dedicated to the upkeep of their armpits have a little something — a 5 o’clock shadow, a little razor burn, or even a fucking pimple now and again. It happens. It’s called a “pit” for a reason — it’s not the greatest place on the body. And the hottest woman in the world definitely does not have a perfect armpit, I don’t care what anyone fucking says.
I’m not so worried about what message this sends to grown ass men (or even myself, who studied my own for a full five minutes for the first time this morning since I was a pre-teen, not gonna lie), but I’m worried about the children. I don’t want legions of boys growing up thinking women can’t have a little evidence of body hair or not know about the daily plight of shaving or whatever-ing it all the time to rock a tank top comfortably because of all the “imperfections” that get edited out of magazine covers. Much like internet porn has raised men to think it’s standard AF to ejaculate on a woman’s face, Chopra’s perfect pit is a detriment to society, because no one has pits like that. And not that many women like “cum shots” in their eye. This is not OK.
On her Instagram page, Chopra seems excited about the picture, and she doesn’t have to take a stand or anything if she doesn’t want to. In response to the Armpit-Gate though, she did tweet an unfiltered picture of her real pits, which are absolutely stunning, but do actually have real human attributes (shading, lines — the idea of an armpit).
She does have swoon-worthy pits in real life. Wouldn’t it be nice if the magazine had allowed her to show those puppies off? In response to the “real armpit” photo, Maxim India tweeted, “mic drop,” but other than that, the magazine hasn’t responded publicly.
So, that’s some action. But it’s not exactly saying that she didn’t like the photo shoot, like Kerry Washington did when AdWeek morphed her into a whiter alien-like creature. Female celebs who don’t like their edited pictures should do something about it. If they can write in how much Smartwater or pork rinds they want in their dressing rooms, can’t they refuse to be on the cover unless they have armpits, a curve in their body, or even keep their own eye color?
I mean, we all use good lighting and filters to present our best selfies to the world, but taking away the mere existence of an armpit is a little too much. And her real armpits are way better than those photoshopped ones any way.
Original by @karenfratti
