Online dating can be both confusing and convenient if you’re not looking for a relationship. On the one hand, you have so many options when it comes to dating sites and apps. However, it can get confusing when you use very popular apps and sites where users don’t specify if they’re looking for a fling or something more serious.
The great thing about looking for casual relationships online is that it offers much more privacy than finding hookups offline. When you look for a partner online, there’s a lot less risk of other people finding out about your flings. This is especially important if you don’t want your friends to know that you intend to engage in casual encounters.
In case you need a little more help with online dating when you’re not looking for a relationship, here are seven tips to make dating on the internet so much easier.
1. Be extremely clear about what you’re looking for
Yes, traditional dating apps are still filled with people who are looking for their soulmate. This is why you should clearly mention in your profile and bio that you’re not ready for a relationship.
You don’t need to explain why you’re not ready, just make sure that it’s very clear. This way, you won’t waste time dating people who want something serious. Also, you won’t break anyone’s heart in the process. It’s as simple as adding to your bio a statement like “Just looking for casual fun.”
2. Choose the right dating app for you
Not all dating apps are suitable for finding a short fling instead of a relationship. Lots of popular apps blur the line between a dating app and a hookup app, so you’ll find a mix of people. So if you’re intent on meeting people who also don’t want a relationship, opt for a site or app that focuses on bringing together for casual flings. You have a wealth of options out there, from general hookup apps to more niche sites that focus on certain experiences.
But if you’re in doubt about the right dating app or site for you, read reputable reviews about your options, we like how Beyond Ages reviews the top hookup apps. That way you don’t need to waste time (and in many cases, money) testing each and every app that catches your eye!
3. Don’t focus exclusively on physical attraction
Okay, you’re not looking for the person you’ll spend your entire life with. Still, you’ll want to find someone who has at least a few interests in common with you. Get to know the people you match with, so you’ll at least have a few things to talk about before you get it on. After all, what good is physical attraction when you have zero chemistry?
Remember that just because someone’s not your exact type, doesn’t mean they won’t be a good match (even if you’re just after a fling). It’s amazing how much more attractive a person becomes when you get to know them better.
4. Be confident
If you want to attract a few matches and start flirting, you’ll have to feel good in your own skin. This can be as simple as using your best photo or wearing your best outfit for your profile photo. Anything that makes you feel sexier goes! Even something as simple as tying your tie in the right way can make you feel more attractive.
If you take care of yourself and your own body, you’ll instantly feel more confident. Confidence is a key characteristic people look for in a lover, especially when it comes to quick, sex-focused flings.
5. Protect your privacy
The person you’re going to flirt with — maybe just for a few weeks or months — doesn’t need to know everything about you. Decide in advance what you want to let them know and what you’d prefer to keep private.
For example, if you’re a single parent, you don’t necessarily have to tell your hookup partner that you have kids. The same applies when it comes to ex-husbands or boyfriends. Even if you’re on the rebound or are looking for a confidence boost, you don’t owe your date an explanation for why you’re looking for casual flings.
Only, remember to think in advance about privacy, to avoid being unprepared if your date asks you something uncomfortable during your night out.
6. Keep it safe
Safe sex is important for dating, whether you’re looking for a relationship or not. If you’re only interested in something casual, safe sex is much more important. So always have a condom handy and make sure you tell your partner than you intend to use it.
Also, while it may not be the most practical thing to ask your partner to get tested, it’s still worth asking. Likewise, you should also get tested to ensure you don’t have any STIs that you can potentially pass on to your partner/s.
Nowadays, many STIs are becoming increasingly untreatable and resistant to drugs. Ideally, you should have the talk and make sure you and your partner both get tested before you start having sex. Refusing to get tested or, at the very least, refusing to engage in safe sex should be a dealbreaker!
7. Don’t overthink
The fun part of having just a quick fling in comparison to a serious relationship is that there’s no commitment involved. You can come and go as you please, pun intended. Find an annoying dealbreaker? If you’ve made it clear that you’re not looking for a relationship, they’ll understand if you end things without a long conversation about it.
When you overthink, however, it can make you more anxious and less confident. This can take the fun out of casual dating. So just roll with it and have fun! You’re not looking for someone you’ll spend the rest of your life with, so you can always find other potential partners.