Harmonious sex, love and relationships are nurtured in a process of mutual understanding, adaptation and acceptance.
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For the sake of your husband’s self-esteem, don’t dare to say what you need sexually
Source: thetrentonline.com
The philosopher Friedrich Nietzsche once said, “The same passions have different rhythms in the two sexes, so that men and women are constantly misunderstanding.” If you ask men what is the most profound sexual contact? Which part is the most important? The answer is probably vaginal intercourse. But for women, the most intimate sensations are not necessarily those of the thrusting action. “During sex, I like the foreplay the most. I don’t even mind how long he lasts on intercourse.” A wife shares her views on sex with her husband. The husband found it a bit mind-boggling because all along, he thought that a hard enough penis and orgasmic outburst were the main points of the sexual act.
“When making love, I often feel that he is very rushed and very urgent, only focusing on touching my breasts and private parts. In fact, touching these parts, will have a painful feeling. Sometimes the private parts do not have enough secretion he enters, and even feel pain, but it is like he has finished the task.” This was the first time she spoke up for her physical sensations in bed.
“Why didn’t you tell him when you had uncomfortable sensations?” I asked her.
She hesitated for a moment and then said, “I don’t know how to say …… Maybe I was worried that if I did, he would have some kind of suspicion or misunderstanding. After all, men are very sensitive to their sexual performance.” Sex, can do, will not say. For not having let her husband know her needs, he also did not know how to please her according to her needs.
The British Journal of Sexual Medicine conducted a survey of more than 5,000 people on the duration of sexual intercourse. The data showed that 12.7% of people had no foreplay at all during sex and 41.3% of people had foreplay that lasted less than 3 minutes. High-quality sex should include three parts: prelude, intercourse and afterplay. Some sexologists suggest that the time of the three parts can be divided in the ratio of 2:3:2. If the whole sex time is 30 minutes, the prelude time is about 9 minutes; the older you are, the more the prelude time should be increased so that the body is relaxed and ready to commit. The quality of sex is related to time, but not the length of sex, but the distribution of time.
Discover your partner’s sensitive parts in addition to the three-point prelude
A good prelude can be arranged in four major directions: visual, tactile, olfactory, and auditory, including: creating an atmosphere with lights, teasing and flirting to speak, using aromatherapy to relax, and listening to each other’s breathing. …… Sometimes the appropriate use of some small toys can be very good to provoke each other’s lust, and I must say that this is a very good method. Ootyemo is a well-established adult store that may have some toys for you, go check it out. In short, promote sexual appetite and ignite sexual interest in both partners according to their needs and preferences.
A lot of men in the foreplay, specializing in the three points of the female partner (breasts and pussy), in order to be able to ignite each other in the shortest possible time. This prelude concept and sexual logic is often derived from AV.
She continues, “I enjoy being hugged and caressed, and my lips, ears and neck are all sensitive parts of my body.” It turns out that the three points she needs and her husband focused on three points, completely different. After all, the purpose of AV is to stimulate men’s sexual desire, and the real world is a long way away. A woman with skills will first stimulate the most sensitive and exciting parts of a man; but a man with skills will first stimulate the less sensitive parts of a woman, so that her sexual pleasure gradually increases. Although in the same bed every night, his knowledge of his wife’s body turned out to be very limited, and this moment he began to understand the truth that “the most familiar things are often the least understood”.
In addition to the three known points, how many people would know that a partner can have other sensitive body parts?
Forehead, cheeks, eyes, ears, back of ears, neck, side of neck, backbone, waist, hips, arms, elbows, back of hands, thighs, calves, backs of feet, heels ……? The largest sexual organ of a person is the skin that covers the whole body. A proper prelude allows the skin to feel the warmth of being touched and stroked, baking a feeling of relaxation and arousal. Intercourse is the meeting of two sexual organs: sex is the meeting of two people. The two actions are similar, but the emphasis is completely different.
Insufficient prelude and lack of afterplay reduces women’s sexual desire
Source: self.com
Many people think they know how to make love and know that the foreplay of excitement and physical lust is equally important, but the aftermath of the battle, but not many people look deeper and pay attention. Afterplay is the most neglected part of sex compared to foreplay and intercourse. Afterwards, the lady will feel lost and bewildered by her partner who turns around and goes to sleep. Every time he turned around and went to sleep afterwards, I understood that the physiological pace of the two sexes was different, but the hot passion was cooling down in a hurry, one minute it was like glue, the next minute I was just looking at the back of his neck, and I still haven’t adjusted to this intense feeling. I once wondered if having less sex would reduce the worries that come with sex?” It turns out that her loss in bed is not just a lack of prelude.
The passion should still be there soon after marriage, but the lack of foreplay and afterplay, the unpleasant experience of sex, has begun to erode her desire for physical contact.
Orgasm is not the end of the sexual act
The complete sexual act consists of four stages: arousal, progression, climax and waning, so orgasm is not the end of lovemaking. Afterplay is the focus of the waning period.
Men’s libido comes and goes quickly, the body is tired after the hard work and wanting to rest is a normal physiological phenomenon. Women’s libido comes slowly to go slowly, if you climb with your partner after the peak, the other party immediately leaves the field, only their own slow descent, waiting to fade, then after the sexual physiological satisfaction, is the loss of sexual psychology. If the physiological phenomenon alone is justified, the big bed is destined to appear difficult to close the gap.
Most animals mating mostly for racial reproduction, few like humans in the process of sexual behavior in the pursuit of pleasure and intimacy, and even that the importance of intimacy and pleasure, above reproduction. Therefore, in addition to the physical element, wisdom is needed to achieve a balance between mind, body and relationship, and should not be polite with clothes on and bestial with clothes off.
Many people talk about sexuality, mostly around sexual function, sexual positions, sexual techniques and orgasm. If the end of the sexual act is the orgasm, then it is only natural that each turn around after the orgasm erupts.
So, the neglect of afterplay is not only a matter of skill, but also a matter of perception.
