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This Heroic Woman Put Poop In Her Purse After Her Date’s Toilet Wouldn’t Flush

by Lana Vrzic August 10, 2018
by Lana Vrzic August 10, 2018
1.8K

We all know the real walk of shame is from the bathroom to your date’s bedroom after you’ve dropped a big one in the flusher and are unsure if it uh, disappeared. But few know a toilet-related walk of shame as dramatic and elaborate as Twitter user @_blotty who bravely posted the story of a date gone shitty after his toilet wouldn’t flush.

Even from the first tweet, she gets straight to the point.

I have a story to tell. It is about my poop

— misunderstood worm (@_blotty) March 22, 2016

I love how blasé she is about meeting him at the grocery store.

I am a confident, calm and self assured woman…so I felt comfortable popping in his bathroom. This was a mistake. His toilet did not flush

— misunderstood worm (@_blotty) March 22, 2016

By this point, I was really frantic because I had been in there for too long. There was only one single piece of poop. So in that moment

— misunderstood worm (@_blotty) March 22, 2016

I realized I didn’t have a plan. What do I do with it now? I can’t fucking leave it there. By this point I was REALLY freaking out because

— misunderstood worm (@_blotty) March 22, 2016

In multiple layers of toilet paper, and put it in my purse

— misunderstood worm (@_blotty) March 22, 2016

Honestly, the swiftness of her problem solving skills speak volumes. Potential future employers should read this story as an example of her ability to work outside-the-box.

Him: you’re so beautiful. The moment you smiled at me,u had me
Me: that’s really sweet
Me in my head: I have a piece of my poo in my purse

— misunderstood worm (@_blotty) March 22, 2016

This is already a romance for the ages. Naturally, this is the point where you reel in some sisterly advice.

At this point, I text my sister for advice pic.twitter.com/lMeX55iiH4

— misunderstood worm (@_blotty) March 22, 2016

Try to flush the poop. So I brought my purse up to the washroom. Unwrapped the poop, prayed to every god I know, put it in and flushed

— misunderstood worm (@_blotty) March 22, 2016

By the grace of God, it worked. The poo flushed. I was free. I was in the clear. Everything was going to be okay. I survived.I am a survivor

— misunderstood worm (@_blotty) March 22, 2016

So that’s my story. A man, sat there telling me I’m the most amazing woman he’s ever met, not knowing, 10 feet away in my purse, was my poop

— misunderstood worm (@_blotty) March 22, 2016

This is v embarrassing for me. But seriously: dont drink coffee before a date, its better to be sleepy than to have to hide poop in ur purse

— misunderstood worm (@_blotty) March 22, 2016

The part that struck me the most was that HOURS went by before she was able to properly flush the poop, which means it was sitting in her purse feet away from them for that long without him noticing a smell (or revealing that he noticed). How many times was she forced to wash that purse? Did she replace it completely? Her story unsurprisingly encouraged others to share similar stories.

@notfolu @_blotty the man who unclogged my vomit poop toilet now works at the white house

— sarah jeong (@sarahjeong) March 22, 2016

@LisaFrame @_blotty um this exact story almost verbatim happened to @RachelARich‘s BFF!!!! But she got a ride home with poop in her purse

— Nicole James (@nicolejamessays) March 22, 2016

Wow. All of the hard work I put into being a hot girl is tarnished by one teeny tiny poop story. Now I’m just the poop girl

— misunderstood worm (@_blotty) March 22, 2016

I really hope the grocery store man is following her on Twitter and this is how he found out that they’re meant to be.

(Buzzfeed)

Original by @BronwynIsaac

datingpoopromancetwitter
Lana Vrzic

Lana is a dedicated writer and Editor in Chief of TheFrisky, who has been with us from the beginning. Her diverse range of interests, from technology and business to health and wellness, allows her to bring a fresh perspective to each topic she covers.

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