Maybe you’ve got a bad feeling in the pit of your stomach, or perhaps you’ve seen a few changes in your partner that you can’t explain. Unfortunately, if you’re questioning your partner’s intentions, there’s a strong likelihood that you suspect them of having an affair. Signs of cheating can vary considerably, depending on the person, but there are often similar behavior variations to assess the situation. If your gut instinct is that your partner is having an affair, there’s a chance it may be correct. Before you confront your partner, consider the following five signs that your spouse is cheating on you.
1. They’re paying more attention to physical appearance
Your partner has never cared about having their hair cut or clothes organized, but now it seems like you’ve married a new person. Exercise, diet, and physical appearance are essential components to relationships, especially new ones. Pay attention to when you notice your partner dressing nicely. If they seem to put forth the same energy and effort around you but suddenly need to look fantastic going to the gym every morning, something might be up. This also includes getting haircuts, purchasing new clothes, establishing new workout routines, or regular grooming.
2. Your Sex Life Has Significantly Changed Recently
Although many individuals will attribute lower sex drive with a potential affair, not many individuals understand that any drive change could indicate an outside influence. Typically, engaging in less sexual activity with your partner could result from another person they’re focused on. After all, if your partner is having an affair, they’re likely having their needs met by someone else. On the other hand, an increased drive could be a level of guilt creeping into the subconscious. Partners will often overcompensate with their current spouse in the bedroom when there’s a problem. Finally, pay attention to any newfound activities, fetishes, or techniques used within the bedroom. While spicing things up is healthy, they may be an indication of an outside influence.
3. You see suspicious website activity
While visiting websites online is not an indication of unfaithful activities, frequent interaction could highlight a potential problem. Some websites and apps can be a harmless investigation; while it may not be okay in your mind, it’s not an affair if your partner is just browsing. Look for established routines when it comes to online activity. Accounts to platforms like a Sugar Daddy website may indicate an emotional or physical affair. Alternatively, it could just be a website to find an outside person to talk to. It’s important not to assume that the affair is or has taken place. If you happen to see a pattern of repeated registrations, ask your partner what they find fulfilling about those websites instead of accusing them of being unfaithful.
4. Your Partner Seems Unreachable Frequently
You used to chat throughout the day, whether by email, text, or a quick call. Now, it seems like the only thing you’re able to reach is the voicemail. If your partner has always been available to take your calls but suddenly seems uninterested in talking to you, it may indicate something happening. It’s important to remember that everyone has busy periods throughout the day. You may find office meetings occur more frequently, longer in duration, or at weird times throughout the week. If your partner is away on a business trip and becomes unreachable, it’s a reasonably good indicator that something is off. Pay attention to delays in text messages, turned off cell phones, less communication than regular, and inability to explain the absence.
5. Your Partner is Hostile or Angry with You
When you’ve always gotten along really well and suddenly can’t go a few hours without fighting, it not be your fault. Many times, individuals having an affair will justify the outside relationship by claiming to be unhappy. They’ll try to pick fights, become easily frustrated, or downright angry with their partner as a way of deflecting the pain of the affair. This behavior often comes down to an attempt to rationalize their own behavior. If they can successfully push the blame onto you, they can easily justify their actions. If it seems like you are suddenly the target of their frustrations, can’t do anything right, or appear to push you out of their life, there’s a strong indication that something is off.
Signs Aren’t Solid Evidence of an Affair
While these are five indications that someone is having an affair, it’s important to remember that these are not 100% accurate signs. There are other reasons for new, bizarre, or ignorant behavior to start from a spouse, which may have nothing to do with you or an affair. Mental health, stress, fear, or genuine problems within a relationship can all cause these signs to manifest. Likewise, an increased work demand can be another strong justification for missed calls or seemingly absent days.
It’s always better to start the conversation openly and honestly instead of making direct accusations about an affair. Chances are if a person is having an affair, they’re going to deny it regardless. If they’re not having an affair but are accused of having one, it can be devastating to the dynamic. By allowing your partner to explain what’s happening, you’ll bring support and encouragement to the relationship, which can improve the emotional and physical connection between you both. In the end, if you’re suspicious of an affair, it will impact the dynamic regardless of actuality.