Size Matters: Long Penises Vs. Short Penises

It’s been brought to our attention that women should be talking more openly about penis size. So, talk openly we shall. We know that when it comes to having good sex, size is not the most important factor. But still, big or small, every size of  dick has it’s unique benefits and drawbacks. After the jump, our fair and honest assessment of being with men with long versus short penises.

Long Penises:

Pros:

• You can definitely feel it in there.

• Impossible sex positions like the head spinner suddenly become possible with a super-long, dextrous penis. Well, maybe not, but you can contort your body into some crazy positions and his penis will still be able to reach you.

• He can do penis moves, like the wrist watch, he may even be able to suck his own dick like Ridiculous the male stripper. In which case, he might not come around too often.

• Because of his long penis, you’ll find that he’s very confident. Sometimes too confident.

Cons:

• Just looking at his erection makes your cervix cry. Your entire vagina area will be sore tomorrow.

• Sometimes the length does NOT make up for girth and they look too much like raw hotdogs.

• You are frequently at risk for UTIs and feel like you have to pee with every thrust.

• Forget about doing it doggie style unless you want your internal organs pounded.

• You can’t give him head without it activating your gag reflex.

• You’re scared to let him put it in your pooper for fear of anal prolapse.

• He probably has to shift it around a lot because it’s uncomfortable and then he looks like a pervert playing with his junk all the time.

Short Penises:

Pros:

• No tearing or discomfort during sex, so you can go for more rounds without your vagina feeling spent.

• Blow jobs are a breeze and you can fit the whole thing in your mouth and lick his taint at the same time.

• Anal sex isn’t quite as scary.

• He’s way more innovative and enthusiastic in bed (lots of oral!)

• Woman on top, missionary, doggie style, most of the basic positions all work without pain in your internal organs.

Cons:

• Hard-to-reach positions like on your stomach or standing up are more difficult to achieve.

• Sometimes he’s inside of you and you barely know it.

• He may try to overcompensate with a Jaguar.

• It’s more easy for his penis to slide out. Like if you’re on top and you catch some air.

Add your penis pros and cons in the comments.