Everyone has been in friends with benefits situation (well a lot of people, not necessarily everyone). It’s something that you do in order to satisfy the primal urge of intimacy, of sex because we are all human and we all have needs. Some though just don’t want to be committed, it’s not the right time, whatever the case may be, and they just want to be friends and enjoy the benefits that come along with someone of either the opposite or the same sex (whatever you are into). In order to get into the realm of friends with benefits, there are some things that you’ll want to consider first because trust me, it’s not an arrangement for everyone.
What Exactly is Friends with Benefits?
In reality, it’s a casual relationship with no strings attached. This means that you can do whatever it is that you want to do and can walk away without being committed to a relationship. There is no necessary date night, you don’t have to get the other person gifts, you don’t have to bring them to family dinners, nothing, and it’s something that is easy. For the most part that is, because things can go terribly wrong once someone catches feelings. If that happens then you have two options, to make it an actual relationship, or you can end it, there is no in-between.
Rule One: Be Safe
This has to be one of the most important rules that I can spew in this entire article. When you have this sort of agreement you can do what you want, with anyone. This means that you have the chance to be in contact with someone who has an STD, something that can affect your life for the near and far future. If the other person doesn’t want to use condoms, don’t agree to anything. It’s not just about being on birth control and preventing pregnancy, it’s about being able to enjoy yourself now and later as well, which means being healthy and keeping yourself disease-free. And don’t rely on the other person to come prepared, that has to be your job, whether you are a male or a female, be prepared yourself, because you can’t assume that someone else is going to do that for you.
Rule Two: This is NOT a Relationship
This is casual sex, this is fun without the commitment, and this requires nothing other than mutual relations. As stated before you don’t have to do all the things that are required of you in a relationship, you are just there and with this person to have fun. So do that, have fun and be done. This means that casual hangouts, date nights, meeting the parents, taking them to a wedding, are generally off-limits. Take your time with it and understand that if those things start happening you need to discuss where it’s going. And for that, see the next rule.
Rule Three: Be Honest
You can’t go into this type of situation and assume that the other person knows that you want no types of attachments, no types of commitments. You have to tell them and be honest from the get-go. If you aren’t then there is the chance to cause a lot of problems. They could assume you are working towards a beautiful future when all you want is to literally get off. Tell them, be honest with them, it will make it all the better for everyone.
This also means that you have to be honest with your feelings as well. Either one can catch feelings, but then you have to discuss how you are going to proceed. Sex is very intimate and can be that one thing that causes the other to fall in love. If you do, just tell them that either you want to turn this into something else (Have you see the movie Friends with Benefits with Justin Timberlake and Mila Kunis) or that you want it to end. But really search your feelings. Are you just infatuated with how good they are in bed or do they have other qualities that you really enjoy? That is an important part of the equation.
Rule Four: Have Fun and Remain, Friends,
This is the last rule I will give you. Having a friend with benefits type of situation is something that should be relaxing (literally) and you will still have your friend after the fact. They started that way and they should end that way. Just because one of you gets into another relationship you have to hold your jealousy and feelings and put them aside because that was the deal, that was the initial plan, to just have fun. So do that, have fun and make sure that when you are done you still remain the friends that you were in the beginning before it all began. Otherwise, enjoy, because it is something that could be beneficial for everyone.