Last night’s CNBC GOP Debate was supposed to focus on economics and policy. And yet, somehow, even though the candidates didn’t get around to discussing the coming rapture or their feelings on slutty women who had abortions, there was still a lot of weird, delusional bullshit being tossed about like so much confetti.
Let’s take a minute to explore some of the greatest moments in bullshit at last night’s debate, shall we?
- Donald Trump: “Mexico Is Totally Gonna Pay For That Wall!”
- Ted Cruz & Mike Huckabee: Let’s Cure All The Diseases!
- Ben Carson: “Vitamin Supplements? What Vitamin Supplements?”
- Carly Fiorina: “92 Percent Of Jobs Lost During Obama’s First Term Belonged To Women!”
- Donald Trump: “Gun-Free Zones Attract Mentally Ill Killers!”
- Various Candidates: “Kill The ‘Death Tax’!”
- Lindsey Graham: “I’m The Guy Best Equipped To Run The Military!”
- Marco Rubio & Others: “BOO! HISS! MAINSTREAM MEDIA! BLECH!!!”
Donald Trump: “Mexico Is Totally Gonna Pay For That Wall!”
Sorry, that’s not actually going to happen! The Mexican government is definitely not into the idea, at all, for any reason, and also thinks Donald Trump is a ridiculous person for suggesting that’s something they’d do.
I mean, I get that people think that “OH, Donald Trump will walk into Mexico and be TOTALLY MANLY and maybe throw some lamps or something, and then Mexico will be like ‘OH, sorry Donald Trump, we didn’t realize how manly you were, here is the $2.4 billion dollars you need to build your dream wall!” — but that is pretty damned absurd. It’s not gonna happen. Sorry.
Ted Cruz & Mike Huckabee: Let’s Cure All The Diseases!
Both Ted Cruz and Mike Huckabee proposed, as a solution to mitigating the healthcare costs in this country, just like letting the private sector cure cancer, diabetes and Alzheimer’s.
OH MAN! Can’t believe no one else has thought about this! If we just cure all of the diseases, then no one will need healthcare! LIKE MAGIC. It sure is too bad that we haven’t let the private sector cure cancer!
Huckabee pointed out that we cured polio with a vaccine, and no one has polio so much anymore (although I’d wait on that one given all the anti-vaxxers), so why can’t we just do that with ALL the diseases. You know, find some vaccines for cancer and diabetes and Alzheimer’s or something! And people say Republicans are stupid about science!
Ben Carson: “Vitamin Supplements? What Vitamin Supplements?”
When asked about his ties to Mannatech, a shady ass “supplement” company that claimed their vitamins could cure autism and cancer, Ben Carson said that he wasn’t “involved” with them, but only did a few paid speeches for them and takes the supplements himself.
However, as noted liberal rag the Wall Street Journal has pointed out, that is not exactly the case. In addition to the speeches, Mannatech also donated a large portion of the $2.5 million Carson needed to get an endowed post at Johns Hopkins–which the Carson campaign now denies.
He also recorded several videos for the company in which he talked about how great their supplements were. Which is pretty much like doing a damn infomercial.
Carly Fiorina: “92 Percent Of Jobs Lost During Obama’s First Term Belonged To Women!”
This statistic was rated by Politifact as “mostly false” when Romney tried it out back in 2012 — primarily because it failed, entirely, to take into account the recession that started before Obama was in office, as well as many other factors.
Now? It’s even more false. As Vox points out, the statistic was calculated before the end of Obama’s first term. By the actual end of his term? There was a net GAIN of 400,000 jobs for women.
Donald Trump: “Gun-Free Zones Attract Mentally Ill Killers!”
Donald Trump suggested at one point that “gun free zones” attracted “mentally ill people” looking to go on shooting sprees, as with the recent shooting in Oregon.
FIRST OF ALL. Umpqua college was not, in fact, a gun-free zone. So there goes that whole argument.
Second! These shooting sprees are not the fault of “mentally ill people.” In fact, studies show that mentally ill people are far more likely to be the victims of violence than the perpetrators. Most terrorist incidents since 9/11 have been committed not by mentally ill people, or by Muslims, but by people with extreme Right-Wing ideologies.
Third! A study conducted by Mother Jones could not find a single incident in which a shooter was motivated by knowing an area was a gun-free zone, and another study found that only 14 percent of the mass shootings since 2009 have occurred in gun-free zones.
When the moderators pointed out that many of Trump’s properties, like his casinos, were gun-free and he was asked if he would be changing that, he said he would. You know, because having guns at a casino is a thing that will probably turn out well.
Various Candidates: “Kill The ‘Death Tax’!”
Several candidates made mention last night of the so-called “death tax.” Why? Because they think you are stupid. It’s not a “death tax,” no one is paying some kind of fee for dying, it’s an Estate Tax, and it really only applies to wealthy people. It’s also hugely necessary for maintaining a middle class.
What it means, is that when super rich people die and leave money to their kids, that money is taxed. It keeps us from having a society in which wealthy families get to just hoarde all the money to themselves, in perpetuity, without ever working. Sure, there are those people already, but there will be more of them and they will have more than they do now.
Were we to eliminate the Estate Tax entirely in this country, the vast majority of people in this country would be worse off than they are now, and we’d end up with a more severely unbalanced distribution of wealth than we have ow. And what we have now isn’t good.
If you love Paris Hilton and wish there were more of her, than the Estate Tax is not a thing you would support.
The reason I’m marking this bullshit is that it’s bullshit to talk about the “death tax” like it applies to everyone when it does not.
Lindsey Graham: “I’m The Guy Best Equipped To Run The Military!”
You know who doesn’t want Lindsey Graham to have anything to do with “the troops?” All the veterans whose pensions he voted privatize, and the active duty members whose modest raises he voted to have cut in half! Also, everyone who would have benefited from the Veterans Job Corps Act, which he helped to kill.
Marco Rubio & Others: “BOO! HISS! MAINSTREAM MEDIA! BLECH!!!”
Several candidates, particularly Marco Rubio, complained that they were not getting fair treatment because “THE MAINSTREAM MEDIA” is made up of evil liberals who want to see them fail.
May I just point out that they have their own entire channel? A very popular and sadly “mainstream” channel? Called the Fox News Network? Ring a bell? I believe one of you, Mike Huckabee, has even had your own show on there? I don’t think you can complain about the Mainstream Media when you literally have your own channel. It’s weird.
Original by Robyn Pennacchia