Get ready to swear off dating FOREVER.
Everyone has a traumatic first date story. You forgot your wallet at home, the person was super boring/annoying, or it turned out that you two fundamentally disagreed on something very important to you that made the rest of the date insufferable.
Everyone is pretty sure that they’ve got the worst first date story ever up their sleeve, but none of those people have read what this woman went through.
Worst First Date
When you don’t know someone very well, going on a first date with them can be an utter catastrophe. You’re locked into a movie or a fancy dinner, and sometimes it can go so wrong that it’s all you can do not to fake a heart attack just to have an excuse to get out.
But next time you’re trapped across the table from a guy who’s going on and on about a subject so boring it should be criminalized, think about what this poor girl had to endure, and you’ll feel better.
Greetings from the “Stay At Home Son”
This poor girl didn’t catch a break. Her horrific date came straight out of the doors with guns a’blazing, starting off by calling her “dude.” It’s not the end of the world, but maybe less than appropraite for a first date.
He soon revealed that he was a “stay at home son,” which we all know just means he lives with his mama.
Is he appealing yet? If not, maybe consider the fact that he works as a stripper and owns at least 50 g-strings. Don’t worry, he only slept with the first 20 of his clients.
“Some Dr. Phil Serial Killer S**t”
If this date wasn’t already spicy enough, let’s add a little bit of creepy to it. On top of selling drugs in college, this guy revealed to his date that he used to shoot and kill squirrels for fun.
He read all of his ex-fiancée’s text messages, stole her ring off of her finger while she was sleeping, and then sold it.
Apparently, creepiness runs in the family, since his own father tried to strangle a man he got into a motorcycle accident with.
Do you even lift?
He definitely hit all the classic questions that a girl wants to be asked on a first date, telling her to guess how much he weighed and asking if she works out.
He also exhibited the highest caliber of table manners, including chugging seven glasses of wine and stuffing a whole cheese plate into his mouth.
He did at least have the courtesy to plan their next date though, clay shooting. “Oh, you and me around guns sounds like a great idea. At least it’ll be quick and easy,” this poor girl replied.
Ladies, if you’re wondering when you’ll have a chance to have a date with this wonderful man, don’t sweat it. Apparently, he’s going to live forever, since he takes testosterone injections every week. According to him, it’s “proven to make you live longer.”
Yeah, that science sounds real.
He signed off with a classic, picking apart the bill to see what she owed him. Being a stay at home son doesn’t always pay the bills.
The date didn’t entirely end until he got up and tried to do his strip routine, which would probably be the most unique experience this girl ever had.
Worst Date Winner
As any reasonable person would, the first thing her friend asked when this poor victim wrapped up her story was: “Can I post this on the internet?”
Well, we’re glad they did.
What do you think of this horrifying experience? Let us know in the comments and SHARE this article!
Original by Michael